


Sleepwalking

by Oracle_Lune



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adult Number Five | The Boy, Bottom Number Five | The Boy, Comics and the Show are meshed together, Dry Humping, Frottage, I took a cookie cutter to Canon, M/M, Over stimulation, Pseudo-Incest, Rimming, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Time Hops, Unprotected Sex, no beta we die like men, sloppy blow jobs, soulbound
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26001721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oracle_Lune/pseuds/Oracle_Lune
Summary: The one in which Five takes a serum to age his body up and accidentally becomes soul bound with Diego
Relationships: Mentions of Diego/Vanya, Mentions of Luther/Allison, Number Five | The Boy/Diego Hargreeves
Comments: 59
Kudos: 345





	1. Chapter 1

「 Dancing alone Left in shadows  
I paint you in the corner of my mind  
Forming colors from the rays of light 」

A syringe is placed on the table before him, slim and with a thin needle, one that he thinks he would snap given the right amount of force. He doesn’t move to touch it, green eyes focused on the object for longer than necessary, weighing the pros and cons of the situation. A solution to his age dilemma. Five never anticipated finding one, had all but resigned himself to aging naturally – _again_. He leans back in his seat, listens to the old wood creak under his small body.

A room offset from the rest, an office with furniture that was old and worn looking, hand me downs at best. Pogo’s space was tame compared to their father’s old office, a room that sat like a tomb to the man. Nothing touched, nothing moved. “No side effects?” It comes out as a sigh, resigned and if he were with anyone else Five would have his guard up. Pogo, and Grace by extension, where the few people he didn’t snap at, were the only ones he extended a modicum of patience towards.

“You’ll likely experience difficulties with your abilities, the repercussions unknown.” A straightforward response and Five is looking away from the syringe, away from Pogo who sat across from him. “If you choose to take it, there will need to be three shots over the course of three weeks.”

“So, I can’t teleport then.” A small span of time to have an adult form, to skip over a decade of awkward teen growth. He hated it the first time, hated how uncomfortable he felt at times, how despite being the only one alive he still worried about – everything.

“There’s no telling what might happen if you do. The serum is only an attempt at accelerating your growth for a short time, too much and you’ll continue to age without the formula waring off.” Pogo is being blunt about the possibilities, isn’t sugar coated his words and Five finds it refreshing. He’s begun to grow used to his siblings stepping around their words, trying to get their point out without being direct. It gives him a headache more often than not.

“Three shots, three weeks – no teleporting.” Five lets his leg drop from his other knee, polished oxford scrapping lightly against polished wood. “Anything else?” He inches towards the edge of his seat, a nonverbal cue to show he’s done with the conversation.

“Do you really want to go through with this?” A hint of worry seeps into the others voice, the barest note of concern and it isn’t lost on him, not after years of training with the commission. A slight tilt of the head and a saccharine smile forms on Five’s lips, a show to try and ease Pogo’s mind. He knows after what happened with Luther that offering an experimental serum to any of the siblings wasn’t to be taken lightly.

“It’s different this time.” He hasn’t leaned back, is still on the edge of his seat, ready to grab the needle and leave the room. Walk out rather than teleport. “I have a choice and I’ve made it.”

“I see.” Pogo pushes himself up from his seat, cane clacking against the wood as he moves around the desk. “Then let me get Grace and you can take the shot.” Soft shuffling sounds and if Five had any kind of doubt now would be the time to change his mind. He knows what the other is doing, knows that by seeking out Grace gives him a moment of silence, to contemplate, to mull over the possibilities in his mind.

A moment later Grace steps into the office, is followed by Pogo and the slow _clack clack clack_ of his cane on the hardwood floors.

“Pogo said you needed your medicine?” A bright smile on the blonde android’s face and Five reciprocates it to the best of his ability, can feel it tug at his cheeks and make his dry lips stretch taught. He doesn’t think she understands the difference like the rest of his family, just sees a smile and accepts it at that.

Even if it never really reaches his eyes.

Grace picks the syringe up from the table, uncaps the lid and moves behind Five. “Now hold still dear.” Lukewarm synthetic skin is against his neck, nudging his head forward and somehow, he isn’t surprised that the shot is so close to his brain. There’s a pinch pulling the skin of his neck tight, “You’ll just feel a small pinch, breathe in – ah there we go, now that wasn’t so bad.” The pressure is gone, fingers pressed over the puncture followed by a childish band aid a moment later.

Head still tilted down and Five can feel the corner of his lips quirk up, nostalgia in the way Grace speaks, in how she’s forever embedded in his mind. “Thanks.” He’s pushing himself up, dark strands of hair sweeping into his eyes for a brief moment before he takes a step towards the door. “So next week, same time.” Not a question, never a question. A question left ambiguity, allowed for plans to change on a whim, allowed for people to double back on what they said.

Pogo gives a nod, doesn’t try to drag the moment on longer than it needs to be.

Five doesn’t know what he was expecting with the serum. The first few nights went by as if nothing happened, no change other than an itch in his throat and a sense of restlessness. He tried to occupy his time with reading long forgotten books, with rummaging through old papers and notes he’d made on time travel as a child. There was a sense of being locked up, confined to the manor with an unspoken set of rules. Five knows that it’s all in his head, that it’s his own choice not to leave.

An inability to teleport leaves him with a sense of vulnerability, a feeling he’d rather not admit.

The restlessness that came during the day extended well into the night, kept him awake while lying in bed. His old room is just as he left it, the only change coming in the form of mathematical scribbles along the walls. The equations stand out to him, like a lullaby or story one might read over and over again. For Five they served as a reminder, a constant recollection that it was his _family_ that nearly caused the end of the world.

He rolls over in bed, annoyed with his own line of thoughts. Through the window he can see a faint flash of light in the sky, can hear a low and distant rumble of thunder. Late summer showers rolling in through the evening, making the air humid at best. It’s just after midnight and the sudden urge to move is consuming, has Five pulling himself from bed and slipping out of his room. Were it any other time he’d make his way to the donut shop, to a 24-hour diner nearby, would sip on some overheated coffee that’s been left on the burner to long.

Slow and silent steps as he wanders through the house, out into the living room where he remembers playing with his siblings before everything changed. Nostalgia and a sense of loss are pushed aside, are emotions Five doesn’t like to deal with. Not now, not ever. A sharp turn and he makes his way towards Reginald’s office, flicks on a small lamp perched on the man’s desk. Too many secrets left unsaid and without anything else to focus his energy on Five sets his mind to trying to read through the man’s notes. Papers are strewn about, a mess made by Klaus trying to pillage the room for treasures. Five can feel his mouth twitch at the thought, a sneer starting to form only to be wiped away a moment later.

_A light shuffling sound, a tink of a lock being picked open._

Slim fingers reach for a letter opener and move towards the hall the sound came from. Silent steps and the movements come with ease, years of training imbedded in his brain, of a time when hunting was his only way to live, of being _taught_ how to move without sound. Five watches as the window is pushed up, as a man starts to climb into the dark hallway.

One leg in, a boot hitting the floor with a soft thud and Five crouches, spring loaded and ready to jump.

He shoots up, has the advantage of speed with his slight frame ―

fingers curling in the man’s shirt

There’s a sharp pull, a hard yank

Five has to use more strength then he’d like to drag the figure inside.

A quick drop ―

feet swept out from under the other and he leans forward

letter opener to the man’s neck

knee shoved into his chest.

The problem with having the body of a child meant he had very little weight to hold his opponents down.

“Holy fuck – _Five!_ ” It comes out as a startled yelp, a blade pointed up out of instinct and Diego looks shocked, startled in a way the smaller male has never seen. He thinks this is the first time his brother has been on the receiving end of blows. They used to spar as children, a time that felt eons ago, a time when Five wasn’t hardened with the knowledge of kill or be killed.

He keeps the letter opener pressed to Diego’s neck. “Why are you crawling in through the window?” There’s annoyance seeping into his voice, the desire to roll his eyes because _of course_ it’s Diego. “I could have killed you.”

“No shit – since when did you become so goddamn silent?”

“Always have been.” Five lingers there a moment longer, fully aware of the knife pointed back at him. Diego’s eyes are still surprised, still hold a look of startle – as if now is the first time he’s fully grasping how dangerous his brother really is. “Why didn’t you use the front door?” The pressure on Diego’s chest is gone, his back still plastered against the wooden floor as Five stands. “Or are you sneaking in just to sneak back out?”

“Why are you even up and lurking in the dark?”

A question in response pulls a knowing smirk to Five’s lips, amusement crossing his face for a moment. “Can’t sleep.” He looks down at the letter opener in his hand, thumb rubbing over the handle. A soft metal, something pliable and easily broken. “Luther gave you shit for not visiting now that the family is back together again.” Outside there’s another low rumble of thunder, the metallic scent of rain starting to seep into the house. There’s more that he can say, clipped remarks about how Diego hasn’t been around for over a week, how even Allison has flown in for a dinner since then. He keeps the comments to himself, knows that saying them would point out the fact that he’s noticed.

“I thought you’d be sleeping like the dead now that the world isn’t ending, and no one is hunting you.” Diego pushes himself up from the floor, knife spun around in his hand a moment before being holstered. He’s looking at five, amused with his too large sweatpants and plain white shirt. It’s a look that’s drastically different from his day attire, from the pressed uniform he still wears.

“Fifty years with next to no sleep creates a habit.” Five turns then, quiet steps as he starts down the hall. Behind him he can hear Diego pulling the window back shut, muffling the soft sound of rain starting. The man’s boots hit the wooden floor with soft thunks, a noise that would otherwise go unnoticed.

“Pretty sure it’s your coffee habit.” A teasing inflection is added in an it grates on Five’s nerves, has him pausing to look back at his brother with a sharp glare. The expression faulters as he opens his mouth, words dying on his tongue. His stomach twists, uncomfortable – _nauseating_.

Everything seems to go downhill from there.

He’s running through the house, towards the nearest bathroom. The door’s flung open, bouncing off of the wall in his rush, a loud bang that’s only muffled from a rumble of the slow-moving storm outside. He’s knelt in front of the toilet, lid held up with one hand as his stomach lurches. Bile rises up in the back of his throat, adds to the sense of nausea and Five can’t help but empty his stomach into the toilet. It’s all liquid and acid, makes his eyes water and his chest ache. Dimly he’s aware that he’s not alone, that Diego is hovering over him like a protective parent.

“Get out.” Broken words and they lack his usual venom.

“No – are you drunk?” Diego moves around the bathroom, pushing the door almost shut and dimming their light to the hall. The sink turns on, water running and Five is still bent over the toilet, is waiting for the wave of nausea to hit him again. He tilts his head just enough to see what his brother’s doing, watch him through strands of dark hair. A hand towel ran under the water for a moment, is held out to him a second later.

The facets shut off and it makes the small space feel even smaller.

Five hesitates a moment before grabbing – _snatching_ – the towel from Diego. His stomach twists, an uncomfortable knot that leaves him feeling like the room is spinning. It takes more strength then he’d like to lean back from the toilet, to bring the damp towel to his face. A slight tremble to his hands and Five doesn’t look up at Diego.

“Do I look drunk to you?”

“You just puked in the toilet, so I’d say so.”

“I dropped your ass to the floor a moment ago too.”

Diego huffs, visibly annoyed and for a second Five thinks he’ll leave.

“Stop being an arrogant prick – seriously are you okay?”

Hair pushed back, fingers trailing through dark strands and Five looks back towards the toilet. He looks like a mess, a far cry from his usual polished self that everyone else sees. Shoulders slumped and it’s now that he’s feeling tired, drained and it’s waring on his mind. He can’t bring himself to say anything, can’t turn his eyes towards Diego.

“You’re such an asshole all the time.” Half muttered words and Diego is leaning over and pulling Five up by his forearm. “Come on, I’ll take you back to your room.” There’s still a harsh tone to his words yet it’s lost on Five. The movement causes his head to spin, to pull a low and pained whine from his chest. The sound is instantly muffled by the towel in his hand, his head turning to the side.

“What did you do to your neck?”

The question causes his anxiety to spike, instinct setting in and he balls his hands into tight fists. A faint blue light pulling around them and for a second Diego thinks Five is going to vanish from his grasp, run away like he always does when he wants to end a conversation.

The light fades and he goes still.

“Seriously, are you okay?” Genuine worry and it almost pains Five.

“You’re such an idiot.”

He’s deflecting and he knows it, hopes that Diego will get sidetracked at the insult. Instead he’s pulled forward by his arm, a tight grip that drags him back towards his room. “This idiot knows you tried to teleport away but couldn’t.”

“I _chose_ not to.”

“Why?”

The floorboards in the hall creek under their combined weight, are loud in the silent house. Five waits until they’re in his room to pull his arm away from Diego, to walk over to his bed. He drops down onto it only to pull himself upright instantly. The nausea is there, consistent now and the change in elevation only increased the sensation.

“Pogo figured out how to help me age.” Five holds the damp towel up, is pressing it against his face in a vain attempt at chasing the queasiness away.

“Help you age?” There’s disbelief in Diego’s tone along with confusion, something that Five would find annoying at any other time.

“Grow up – look like a goddamn adult again.” A snapped response and sharp green eyes are peering over at the taller male, challenging him to say something more.

“And how is that making you puke your brains out?” A shift in weight and Diego is leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. To Five he looks like he’s about to give a lecture, like he’s ready to scold him for his choices. He isn’t having any of it.

“Get out.”

“I’m just trying to help you.”

“Get the fuck out.” Hissed words and the nausea is making his stomach twist, pulls his attention away from Diego long enough to miss the way he rolls his eyes. The man’s gone a second later, heavy boots hitting the floor in his wake. There’s only a handful of seconds of silence before the steps come back, before Diego is shoving an empty plastic trash bin into Five’s hands.

“Be a little bitch all you want, but I am _not_ letting mom clean up your puke.” Silence fills the room and Five tightens his grip on the bin. His lack of response pulls the smug look from Diego’s face, has him instinctively reaching for his brother’s forehead, checking for a temperature. His hand is caught a second later, is pulled back and he’s met with another piercing gaze. They both know it’s too late, that warm clammy skin had been registered.

“Don’t tell anyone.”

“You really that worried about looking weak?”

“I’m not _looking_ weak – I can’t… Pogo said I can’t teleport, or it’ll mess with my already screwed DNA. I did the math, if I jump while the stuff is in my system, I might not stop aging.” Words spoken through a tight jaw, into the empty plastic bin and Diego doesn’t know what to do with himself, with the level of trust he’s just been given.

He thinks he might start sleeping in his old room again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hundred and one things left unsaid, read between the lines

「 Close my eyes, I can't erase you  
I can't erase you 」

The nausea is something Five has resolved himself to. A debilitating sensation that clings to him in the early hours of the morning. He’s been through worse, has faced death on numerous occasions and yet this is what causes him to hide. The inability to focus coupled with knowing he can’t perform a spatial jump leaves him tense and uncomfortable. Five doesn’t leave his room the following day or even the one after. His absence is barely registered by his siblings who still reside in the house, the assumption made that he’s off doing _Five_ things.

Heels tap on the wooden floor outside of his room, a rhythmic clicking sound that barely registers in his mind. Half asleep and curled up on his side Five almost misses the gentle tapping on his door, “Five dear you haven’t been down for breakfast.” A repetition of the previous day and he turns his head to press his face into his pillow. “Not now.” Garbled words and his door creeks open.

“Now that just won’t do, a growing boy needs his nutrition.”

Grace’s words pull a smirk to his lips, humorless as he rolls over onto his other side. “Not hungry.”

Heels against the wooden floor and a moment later Five’s being dragged up into a seated position. “Come on, up and at em.” Fingers are brushed through his hair, combing it to the side in an attempt to make him more presentable. “Do you have any clean clothes?” Gentle words and Five can’t help but give a sigh in response, push himself up from the bed. Long limbs and he stumbles, feels gangly and awkward.

“I’ll be down in a moment.” The words come out on an exhale, are said in a tone that suggests defeat.

“Excellent, I’ll make you smores pancakes.” Grace is in the hall before Five can respond, the door shutting with a snap. He’s left standing in the middle of the room, the familiar queasy sensation in his gut clinging to him like a bad hangover. The sudden silence left in Grace’s wake gnaws at him, a reminder that the android would be downstairs waiting for him now.

A uniform is taken from the wardrobe, shorts pulled on and Five is left staring down at his legs, at the button fly. Waist band tight and the hem of the fabric sits an inch higher on his knees than he remembers. It’s a surreal realization, a glaring sign that the serum was actually working. He had no doubts that it would, knew Pogo well enough through text in his Father’s old office to doubt his work.

Yet seeing was believing.

Fully dressed and Five makes his way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

The sweet scent of melting marshmallows and chocolate is like an attack on his senses, has him frowning in response. A treat he used to like as a kid and yet all it does now is make him feel nauseated again. The atmosphere in the kitchen is warm and pleasant, a feeling that makes his skin prickle, that leaves him on edge thinking something bad was about to happen. Klaus is sitting at the table, leg pulled up to his chest in the chair, dressed in more of Allison’s clothes.

A bright smile plasters onto his face at the sight of Five. “Well if it isn’t our resident psycho, haven’t seen you for a few days.” There’s nail polish on the table, a dark purple shade that’s being painted onto his brother’s nails. Five gives no response, pulls a chair out from the table, wood scrapping lightly against tile.

“What has little Fivey been up to? Anything I can help with?” There’s interest in Klaus’ eyes, a sight that Five has learned to associate with his sibling’s attempt at casual conversation. Grace flips a pancake over at the stove, humming happily to herself. The sound of it sizzling fills the warm sweet air of the kitchen.

“I’m not giving you a ride anywhere.”

“So harsh, I didn’t even ask.”

“You always want a ride.”

There’s an over dramatic sigh, the nail polish being capped, “And here I was just trying to be a supportive brother.”

“What are you even doing here?” It’s midday and Five doesn’t want to call attention to the fact that he’s only recently gotten up. He’s feeling less then sociable, would have stayed in his room if it hadn’t been for Grace. She treats him as if he were still a kid, like she can’t seem to grasp that he’s an adult like the rest of them. It’s a flaw in her code, a product of the lack of updates to her software and it’s painful to see her try and adjust.

A plate is set down before him, three pancakes with a smiley face on top in whipped cream. _Cute and cheerful_. The sight makes Five feel nauseated, has him wanting to shove the food away and run back to his room. Like a grumpy child. He can feel Klaus watching him, curious eyes and a mind that understands more then he lets on. Grace pats him on the shoulder, light and comforting before turning to clean the dishes.

“Stare all you want; I’m not indulging you.” Five reaches for a fork and knife, works on methodically cutting up his food. He’s buying himself time, hoping that Klaus will stalk off into another room, bother someone else.

“You sure you’re okay?”

The question earns a sharp look in response, a butter knife being pointed in Klaus’ direction. “Finish your nails in silence or get out of the room.” A mild threat and it earns a roll of eyes in response, a sigh that sounds more chastising than anything. Klaus reaches for the nail polish once more, starts to work on his other hand, says nothing in response.

Thumbnail, index finger, middle –

Five pushes the too sweet pancakes around his plate, takes a bite. He chews slowly, avoids looking over at Klaus, tries to ignore the pleasant humming from Grace. Dishes clink together softly, ambient sounds mixed in with the distant creak of the front door pulling open and falling shut.

Klaus sets the cap back onto the nail polish bottle.

“Don’t.” Five says, taking another small bite. He wishes he had coffee, something strong and bitter to balance out the overtly sweet meal.

“I haven’t even said anything.” It comes out as a whine now, a roll of the eyes. “You’re being extra moody today.”

Another bite and Five doesn’t bother looking at his brother this time.

“Oh? So, you’re going to ignore me? C’mon Fivey, it’s just a small ride, right around the corner.”

“Klaus dear, stop bothering your brother. He’s been sick all morning.” Grace has turned around, is in the process of towel drying the dishes. “It’s best he stays home.” Five can feel his shoulders tense, doesn’t even bother to look over at Klaus. He can almost _feel_ the look he’s being given, the slight confusion.

“Don’t.” It’s snipped this time; grated tone and the forks been set down. Steps in the background, floorboards creaking and Five tightens his grip on his knife instinctively.

“I haven’t said anything.”

“Just – _don’t_.”

Back tense and there’s anxiety crawling over his shoulders, a sensation that makes his gut twist. He keeps his eyes pointed down at the barely touched pancakes, at the melting whipped cream pooling on the bottom of the plate. Klaus lowers his leg from the chair, starts to tug it closer. Wood scrapping loudly and it hits just the right nerve.

“STOP IT!” The butter knife is jammed into the wooden top of the table in time with the door to the kitchen popping open. Klaus briefly looks over at Diego’s appearance, his attention filtering back to Five a half second later. There’s a look of sympathy, comprehension.

“Moody and not feeling well in the morning – Five _dear_ this happens, even at your _young_ age! We’ll figure out how to care for the baby together.”

His hand slips from the knife, expression shifting from anger to mild disbelief onto annoyance. “You’re an idiot.” The chair scrapes on the floor and Five is turning, fleeing the room as fast as possible without running outright.

There’s brief silence in his wake, a clink of a dish being set down. “Klaus, I told you to leave your brother alone.”

“What did I just witness?” Diego reaches over and plucks the knife from the table, looks at the slightly bent blade before setting it down.

“Five being outed by mom.” Klaus pushes his chair back to where it was, reaches for the nail polish and focuses on painting the rest of his nails. “Whatever he’s been doing has him feeling sick.”

“Oh dear, he didn’t eat anything.” Grace frowns as she picks the discarded plate up. “A growing boy shouldn’t neglect his food. I need to bring it to him.”

“Ah – mom, how about you help Klaus with his nails, I’ll take it up.” Diego is taking the plate from the android’s hands, nudges her towards Klaus. He pushes a smile onto his face, one that causes his eyes to crinkle up. “Besides, I’ve got some stuff to discuss with Five.”

“Well, if you insist.”

He’s lying on his bed, arm slung over his eyes when he picks up familiar heavy steps in the hall. Thick boots that seem to echo off the walls come to a stop at the door, the knob twisting before it’s pushed open. “Out.” Five says without even moving his arm. Dark hair pushed up against white pillows, blazer crinkled below him, and Diego kicks the door shut behind him.

“Take your shoes off if you’re going to lie in bed, act like a regular person for once.” The plate is set down on the dresser beside the door, “And stop snapping at everyone.” Floorboards creak and Five doesn’t pull his leg back from the fingers curling around his ankle. His shoe is slipped off, dropped onto the floor followed by the other. “You’re the one who chose to do this.”

“What part of _out_ don’t you understand?” Five lowers his arm, pushes himself up on the bed. There’s less venom in his tone, hair slightly messed, and it pulls a smirk onto Diego’s lips. It’s one of the rare occurrences that he sees the other looking less then polished and it’s amusing, like being let in on a private joke.

“Yeah no, it’s either me or Grace brings you the rest of your food.”

Legs pulled back, curled up and crossed. He presses his hands against his eyes, elbows on knees and if Diego didn’t know any better, he’d assume Five was _sulking_. “Why did she have to – ”

“She knows right?”

Green eyes peer up, unamused and Diego sits down on the bed beside him. An act of defiance, of showing that he wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. There’s annoyance filtering across Five’s face, an expression that’s pushed aside, replaced with a fake smile.

“Yes, she knows.” Saccharine sweet tone and it bothers Diego in a way he can’t explain.

Likely because he knows Five is trying to avoid the conversation, picking his words with care, saying as little as possible. He assumes the insults will start back up, cruel words to push him away.

“Great – then when she called you a _growing boy_ means she probably put some shit in the food.” Diego is moving to grab the plate from the dresser top. He holds it out in front of Five, amused with how sweet and sugary the meal was. It’s reminiscent of when they were all kids, of how Five would sneak sweets out of the kitchen. He always said it was to boost his powers, something Diego chalked up to a half truth. “Grace always makes eggs and bacon from us when we stay here, the fact that she made you _this_ is for some other reason.”

“Why are you so damn persistent?” Five’s taking the plate, fingers curling around the fork. He’s holding it in his lap, pushing the cut-up pieces of sweet bread around. There’s no syrup, just melted whipped cream and bits of marshmallows mixed with chocolate. The sight makes his teeth ache. He takes a bite, chews slowly as Diego sits down beside him again.

“So how is that morning sickness going?” A slight laugh, amusement and he can see the barest hint of a smile tug at the corners of Five’s mouth.

“Fuck off.”

“I’m being serious – it’s not like you need to hide the fact that you’re not feeling well from me.”

Five doesn’t respond for a good minute, prioritizes eating in place of talking. He makes his way through three quarters of the plate before standing and setting it atop the dresser. Diego watches as he smooths out the wrinkles from his blazer, fingers combing his hair back into place. The empty trash can is still sitting beside the bed, a new towel on the floor beside it.

“It’s better.”

“You look a bit taller.”

“I think I am. My clothes don’t fit right anymore.” Five’s looking down at his legs again, at where his shorts fall and the exposed skin of his knees before the socks start. “It’s different. I don’t remember feeling like this before.” Beside him Diego stands up from the bed, is looking down at the top of Five’s head. He stops himself from saying something more, opts to change the topic.

“Klaus is still lounging around the house asking for rides.”

“That’s nothing new.” Five turns, hands stuff into his pockets. “Why are you bringing it up?”

“Thought you might have some cabin fever,” Diego gives a shrug and moves towards the door. “Figured you’d like to take a ride. We can stop and even get you _coffee_.” He’s playing nice, a quip on his tongue and Five is waiting for the comment. “It might stunt your growth, not sure if you’re okay with being what – five foot three forever?”

Polished shoes are being pulled on, head tilted down, and Diego almost missed the look he was given.

“You’re just worried I’ll be as tall as Luther.” Five moves past him, an air of nonchalance hanging from his shoulders, all sharp words and venom slipping back into place. “I’m driving if you don’t hurry up.” He makes his way down the hall, to the stop of the stairs in time to see Grace walking up them.

“Are you going out?”

“Yes mom, we’ll be back later.” Diego responds, is leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be sure to have him back for dinner.”

“Diego go get Klaus; I’ll meet you at the car.” Five smiles and it’s overtly fake, holds a condescending note to it. “I need to talk with Mom a moment.”

Grace smiles brightly at him, gives Diego a small nod. “I promise I won’t keep him for more then a minute.” There’s little chance for argument and he’s moving down the stairs without another word. Around the corner, just out of sight and he doesn’t go any farther.

Five relaxes briefly the moment they’re alone, attention shifting towards Grace.

“I’ve been instructed to give you your medicine before it gets any later in the day. Would you like to take a seat?”

“No, I’m fine, Diego’s waiting.” Five turns, head tilting and hands still in his pockets. He listens as Grace pulls the syringe from her pocket along with a small alcohol wipe. She gently tilts his head to the side, cleans his skin while humming gently.

“Remember to be careful while you’re outside.” Kind words and fingers pinch the skin of his neck, the needle being uncapped. “Pogo doesn’t want anything to happen to you, he’s worried about how sick you’ve been.”

“I’ll be fine.” A sharp prick, sensation muted by the way his neck’s being pinched.

“Just remember, no spatial jumps or using your powers.”

“Yes mother.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insecurities blotted over with harsh words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick upload because I can't help myself

「 I always thought   
we'd have another life 」

A colorful and cartoony band-aid is on his neck, covering the small mark left by the needle. It’s bright against pale skin, is something Diego can’t help but stare at with Five in the passenger seat. The window’s rolled down, car all but silent aside from the rumble of the engine. Klaus was dropped off beside an abandoned looking building, had waited for the car to pull away before heading on inside. Five watched his figure retreating in the side mirror, caught a glimpse of the sign as they passed by.

_Group therapy._

“Why did you bring me with?” The car rolls to a stop at a red light, the air falling still. Five has his arm resting on the door, window rolled down and eyes watching the city.

“Can’t I just want to be nice?”

“You always have an agenda. What hero game are you playing at today?” The light changes and the car jerks forward as they begin to move. Five is looking over at Diego now, expression bored and unamused. It’s a far cry from how he was back at the house, how open he’d seemed. He’s leaned back in his seat, shoulders curved and pointed towards the older looking male.

“Why do I have to have an agenda? Why can’t I just want to spend time with my brother whose been missing for years?”

“Stop.” Head tilting back and Five reaches up, pinches at the bridge of his nose. He feels drained, exhausted and knows that it has to do with the second shot of the serum. “I’m not in the mood for round about conversations.”

“Would coffee help?”

“You really trying to keep me short?” The car turns, a sharp movement and it has Five pulling his eyes open. Down the street from the donut shop and he hasn’t been back in there since the place was destroyed. “Coffee would help.” He says a moment later, eyes shut and head resting against the door frame. “It’ll make it easier to listen to you and your painfully stupid ideas.”

“There’s the sweet kid we all know and love.”

“I can make you crash.”

The car pulls into the lot of Griddy’s Donuts, is parked off to the side and the engine shut off. Five is sluggish in his movements, takes a moment too long to roll the window back up, to undo his seat belt. It’s worrying to Diego, has him second guessing himself on bringing him out. At home Luther lurked around the house, Grace and Pogo roamed the halls like phantoms keeping watch. Five could let his guard down briefly –

“We can get coffee to go.” Diego’s suggesting, driver’s side door still hanging open. He’s leaning against the car, faded green paint starting to chip around the edges. Five pushes the passenger door shut, palm pressed against the vehicle as he steadies himself. “No, it’s fine. I’d rather be outside right now.”

The bell above the door dings as they walk inside, the woman behind the counter looking over at them. Agnes smiles, confused recognition showing on her face at the sight of Five. “Coffee please, two cups.” Diego is abrupt in asking, pulling her attention towards him.

“Coming up.”

Five plops down on vinyl, pushes himself against the window of the booth, tucked away in the corner of the nearly empty building. His eyes are shut again, head propped up by his hand and it’s a look Diego doesn’t think he’s ever been witness to. He sits down across from him, elbows on the table and waits for the mugs to be set down. Agnes gives them a smile, unsure before walking away.

“Are you falling asleep?”

“No.” Green eyes are pulled open, look over at Diego for a moment before turning towards the coffee. “Possibly.” He curls his fingers around the porcelain mug, can feel the heat seeping into his palm. Too hot to drink but he’s taking a sip either way, letting the bitter taste wash over his tongue.

“It’s from the shot?” A half question and Diego’s finally referencing the band-aid on Five’s neck, bright and obvious. He has no intention of admitting that he stayed behind, curious and payed witness to his brother’s exchange.

“Probably. What did you want me for? And stop lying about spending time together.”

Diego doesn’t touch his own drink, eyes taking in Five’s half-awake expression, the way his features show in the day light. He looks just a little bit older, less soft and childish. It’s a small difference from the other day, one that he’d overlook if he didn’t already know.

“I’d like your help.”

Five pauses with his mug halfway to his mouth, green eyes running over Diego’s face, searching. “Okay.” He takes a sip and lowers his cup back to the table, hand still curled around it. There’s no judgement or mocking in his voice, just quiet acceptance and it’s almost enough to shock Diego into silence, forget his words.

“There’s a case that Patch had been working on that I’d like to close.”

“You’re not a cop.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t catch the guy.”

There’s annoyance filtering across Five’s face, his brows knitting together as he holds back words. He leans back against his seat again, body language lax and open on purpose. “Things are different.”

“I know.” Diego leans back himself, arms crossing over his chest, defiant. It’s enough to have Five roll his eyes.

“No, you don’t seem to get it. We _changed_ time. Patch is alive and kicking and working cases, but you still mourn her, mourn the relationship you lost. Somethings still remain present but others, they’re gone forever lost into a slightly altered existence. Hard fixed points in time haven’t changed but there were ripple effects of us being in the past.”

“Yeah, and this guy is still around.”

“How do you know?” Sharp words are back, and Diego thinks he can see his brother tensing up, annoyed. “Even that creep who went after Vanya is different, how are you so certain?” He’s tapping a finger against his mug,

“Because there’s more missing persons cases then before, same victims and then some.”

“Damnit Diego.” Five let’s go of his coffee, elbows pressing against the table. He covers his face with his hands, head tilting down. Dark strands of hair bunch up in his fingers and he makes a small sound, something that Diego nearly misses.

“You want me to tell you how a _serial-killer thinks_? Some stupid shit like that? Guess how this man picks his victims?” The table creaks and Five doesn’t move, listens to his brother pull some money out and leave it on the table. His arms pulled, body moving with it as he’s tugged up from the booth.

“You’re being a little shit again.”

The door chimes above him as he’s pulled through it, out into the parking lot. Five’s feet are uncoordinated, his head spinning and he’s having a hard time focusing. Vision blurred and he grabs onto Diego’s shirt, fingers curling into the fabric. Body weight shifting and he knows he’d fall onto the ground if it weren’t for the other. Disorientation and he knows from an outside perspective he looks drunk, falling over his own feet, arms moving without direction.

An arm loops around his back, pulling him forward and the next thing he registers is weightlessness. Diego carries him over to the car, fumbles a moment before getting the passenger door. “We’ll talk later, when you’re not feeling so cynical and cagey.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Cute.”

Five has his eyes shut, is going off of the sounds around him. Seatbelt pulled out, clicked into place at his side and the door pushed shut. Muffled silence and then the driver’s side opens up. Key’s jingle and he’s leaning forward, elbows on his knees as he rests his head in his hands. The ride back to the mansion is silent, the movements of the car are gentle compared to before, slow stops and easy turns.

The sound of his shoe dropping onto the floor is what catches his attention next, body laid down on his bed, pillow soft against his head. “Diego?”

“No one saw.” The room is silent compared to the muffled noise of the car, the rumble of the engine.

“No – not…” Five pulls his hands up, clumsy movements as he rubs at his eyes. “I’ll help, just bring me the papers.” Blankets are tugged out from under his feet, are laid over him and the bed dips to his side.

“You don’t have to.” Diego’s voice sounds distant, far away and he struggles to pull his eyes open. There’s more being said, words that get lost in the space around him as his mind pulls back. Five doesn’t know if he says something else, can’t recall if he asks for the profile or if it’s a thought that never gets formed.

The world seeps out from underneath him, is filled with scattered moments. Vague and disconnected memories of Grace coming and going from his room, of gentle hands pulling him upright and making sure he eats. He remembers the floor creaking, the door opening, and papers being set on the nightstand. Hushed conversations, vague irritation and things fade away once more. Five sleeps for too long, is only aware of the moments he’s made to sit up, of waking long enough to see Diego’s retreating back.

Sunlight seeping into his room and Five jerks upright, attention turning towards a tray of food being set down beside his bed. Grace smiles at his movement, body turning towards him. “Good morning Sleepy head.” She reaches over and starts to push his hair down, helping to fix his appearance. “It’s about time you wake, Pogo was growing worried.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“You needed your rest silly. You haven’t missed anything.”

Five looks over at Grace, at her ever-present smile. It’s always clear when she’s dodging an answer, something that was programmed into her. He glances at the large glass set down on the nightstand, the toast beside it. “Did Diego stop by?”

“Growing boys need nutrition. I made you a special peanut butter shake,” She reaches for the glass and hands it to him, waits for him to take it before answering. “Diego came to check on you, left some papers for when you woke up.”

“How long was I asleep?” He asks again, sliding to the edge of the bed, realizes now that he’s no longer in the school uniform. “Whose pajamas are these?”

“An old set Klaus outgrew.” Grace reaches forward and guides Five’s hand holding the drink back towards his mouth. “Finish your breakfast dear. I’ll be back with some new clothes for you.” The android turns and moves towards the door. She’s gone a moment later, heels fading down the hall for a moment. Five discards the half-finished shake on his nightstand, picks up a piece of toast as he pulls the papers out from underneath the tray.

A file of the victims, of grotesque photos of crime scenes. Papers piled upon papers of locations, of possible profiles, of facts that were found. There’re sticky notes from Diego placed on images, small scribbled notes in sharp messy handwriting. Five doesn’t bother trying to read them, is more focused on looking at the pictures collected from families of the victims. Mostly young women, a handful of men, all similar in age. The door to his bedroom is opened back up as Grace returns, a small pile of uniforms neatly folded in her arms.

“I can order you more clothes if you’d like, but these will have to do for now.”

The papers are quickly gathered, pictures tucked away and Five stands. His legs feel weak, have him almost falling back onto the bed. Grace catches him with ease, hand holding onto his arm. “Careful now, you’ve been asleep for almost a week.”

Five’s expression shifts, frown forming. He had a feeling given the scattered memories, yet hearing it made him uncomfortable, anxious. “A week?”

“Five days and thirteen hours.” Grace smiles brightly, hand lowering when Five seems to retain his balance.

The line rings endlessly, his back pressed up against the wall, phone cradled between his shoulder and ear. The clothes he wore felt similar yet different, less starched. An old uniform from Klaus, one that fit his waist correctly, that didn’t sit to high on the knee. Five knows that he’ll need to find something else soon, something that doesn’t have the umbrella logo on it. A task that will be done when he can teleport again, when the serum’s no longer in his system.

For now, the sweater vest and shorts will have to do.

There’s a click on the line, a muffled and gruff voice come through the line. Five doesn’t care what’s said, doesn’t wait for the man to finish. “Diego there?”

“Whatever he done I ain’t apart of it.”

“Is he there?” Mild annoyance and Five shifts his weight to his other leg, fingers curled around the papers in his other hand. He listens to a grumbled voice on the line, a few shouts to the people in the gym.

“No one’s seen him today.” Five hangs up abruptly and pushes himself away from the wall. He moves to the foyer, rounds the corner in time to see Vanya entering the mansion. There’s a distinct difference in their height now, something that was barely there before and if it was any other time, he’d be pleased with himself.

“Oh – Five, haven’t seen you in a while.” She’s looking at him, like she can’t quite place the difference. An uneasy smile on her lips and it doesn’t matter how much of a hurry he feels like he’s in, he stops.

“Been busy, how have you been?”

“You look taller.” She’s looking up at him, like she’s trying to place what else is different. “Did you do something different?”

“Cut back on coffee.” There’s amusement in his tone, a gentle tease and it causes Vanya to smile. “If I had to guess I’m only two or three inches taller though.”

“So, if I ever wear heels like mom, we’ll be the same height again.”

“Probably – how old would you say I look now?” There’s a pause in which she studies his face, calloused fingers reaching up and pushing his bangs aside. “Kind of like Luther around… twenty? Maybe less, seeing as I wasn’t here back then.”

“We’ll settle on what? Eighteen?” Five can feel a smile tugging at his lips, something he doesn’t feel the need to push down or mask.

“The uniform makes you look younger though.” It comes with a small laugh, easy and real, a sound he’s glad Vanya can still make after everything.

“Yeah – I’m working on that. Haven’t had time.” He’s looking away, towards the front door. “I’m going out to find Diego, if he shows up while you’re here let him know I’m looking for him.” Five takes a step back, hates how Vanya’s expression starts to fall. “We’ll go get coffee soon, promise.”

“Alright, I know a few nice places downtown.”

Five’s gone, out the front door a moment later in hurried steps as he heads over to where the family car was parked. Oxford shoes crunch against gravel, heels sinking into the ground briefly with each step. The driver’s door is unlocked, heavy feeling as he slides into the front seat, discards the papers Diego left him on the passenger side. Keys are pushed into the ignition, the car started, and his attention is turned towards the road, to the woman standing in the driveway.

Tall heels, blonde hair pulled up into a small beehive, cinched waist.

“You have got to be kidding me.” The engine is revved, an idle threat as the Handler walks towards him. He lets his hands fall from the steering wheel, listens to red fingernails tap on the glass of the window before rolling it down.

“Look at you, embracing the schoolboy fetish in a grown-up body.”

“What do you want?”

“I’m just here as a courtesy. Why waste some of my best continuum correctors on you when we can have a chat.” She reaches in, pinches his cheek. “No need to waste lives if I can avoid it.”

“I haven’t even _done_ anything.” Five slaps her hand away with a sharp look. “Unless looking like an adult breaks time.”

“It’s what you’re about to do.” A finger taps at his nose playfully, “You can’t go catching the doll collector. He plays an important part in things to come.” The hand near his face is pulled back before Five shoves it away again. “Now I know we had a deal, no end of the world if your siblings behave and I let you live out your miserable little lives, however you promised not to mess with time.”

“I’m just going to see my brother.”

“Like I said, this is a courtesy meeting given our extensive history –”

“If you touch my face again, I am going to cut you.” Five moves his hands back to the steering wheel, pulls the car out of park.

“Just as feisty as ever. I do wish you’d come back to the commission; your shorts would spruce the place up a bit. We can overlook past discretion's, after all you did help put me in charge.”

“I’m not going back.” The car jerks forward, tires rolling over gravel as he pulls away from the Handler, out onto the street.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cut open my sternum, and pull my little ribs around you

「 I’m hearing voices out of my TV  
Silent songs, but they’re signing to me 」

The car comes to a stop outside of the gym, breaks squeaking too much for comfort. Five shuts the engine off, sits in the vehicle for a moment. He watches the entrance to the building, frown forming on his lips. He doesn’t want to have to go in there, wishes he saw Diego’s car parked outside, wishes he caught some glimpse of the man. The seatbelt clicks, belt snapping back into place as the car door is pushed open.

A slow breath in and Five steels himself before entering the building, ignores the looks he’s being given as he makes his way towards the back. An older body and yet the same attire, he knows how he looks, how it comes off. It’s something he plans on remedying later, when the commission isn’t threatening him – _again_. Five rounds the corner of a boxing ring, spots the man who owns the building. He’s noticed almost instantly, a fake smile forming on his lips.

“I’m looking for Diego.”

“Man, that’s one hell of a growth spurt.” Al waves a hand, attention split between the two sparring in the ring. “Look kid, I told ya’ on the phone, I haven’t seen ‘em. He missed mopping up the place last night.”

Five fights the urge to roll his eyes, to show his annoyance. He keeps the smile plastered on his face for false pleasantries, body turning towards where he knows the boiler room is. “Well, let him know I’m looking. I’m going to stop by his room though.”

Al waves a hand, attention turning towards the ring once more. “Careful he likes to keep knives set up. Told ‘em if he hits me, he’s out permanently.” Five doesn’t give another response, is already heading towards the back hall. The space smells less of sweat back there, retains a musty scent from damp air, one that he’s begun to associate with Diego unintentionally. The door is easy to pop open; an old rusty lock and it has Five wondering just how often it’s been forced open.

It doesn’t take him long to find the file, alongside others, tucked away in Diego’s room. They’re hidden in an appropriate location, a space that he knows no one would normally look. Five has had too many years finding things people would rather have hidden to miss them. It was part of what made him the best.

Attention to details otherwise overlooked.

He sits down on the edge of the bed, crosses his ankle over his knee and starts to flip through the notes and images. It’s of no surprise that Diego left parts out, details he likely didn’t want Five to deal with. Some part likely hung up on what was said at Griddy’s, the comment he’d made about himself. It was cruel and spiteful, a fact Five has tried to keep from the rest of his family. Diego is the only one whose seen what he could do, has walked through the aftermath before he even knew who caused it.

There are moments Five catches himself, stray thoughts that he knows aren’t normal. He wants to blame it what was done to him, blame it on Temps and his time spent alone. Pogo had once asked him about his sanity, about having spent so much time alone. The answer he’d given was side stepping, with half-truths and clipped sentences. Unlike his siblings he doesn’t have anyone else to blame for his lapse in judgement, for how brash or unadjusted his personality was. Five had done it to himself by running away and jumping through time.

It takes him a moment to realize he’s been staring at an image of a crime scene for a solid ten minutes, attention snapping back into place at the sound of distant steps. They’re different from the squeaking sneakers out in the gym, the heavy foot falls of someone exercising. Five sets the picture down and moves over to the small kitchenette in the room. Fingers curling around the hilt of a kitchen knife, body pressing up against the wall just below the door.

Knowing the Handler had given him his warning meant that he was more then likely already on their hit list.

The door creeks open slowly, a knife flying into the room and the second it left the other’s hand Five is moving. A hand on the railing beside the door and he’s yanking himself up and onto the stairs, movements just a bit slower than before, body heavier. His shoe plants itself against the man’s chest, shoving him back and into the hall, knocking him down in time with the knife that was thrown hitting a distant object. Five finds himself kneeling against Diego’s chest, his own blade pressed against his brother’s neck, movement halted.

“Do you _always_ enter your room by throwing knives?”

Beside them Al is laughing, a nervous and uncertain chuckle that grows in hysterics. “Oh, good god your whole family is fucking nuts – nearly killin’ each otha.” He sucks in a shaky breath, another bubble of laughter spilling out. “Serves ya’ right for attackin’ me.” Retreating steps and he’s gesturing to no one in particular.

“What are you doing outside of the house?” Diego’s eyes are stuck on Five’s face, taking in the shift in his features, another change from the last time he saw him. The weight on his chest is heavier, more prominent, alarmingly different from the near constant image of Five he’s had in his mind. Forever a prepubescent teen.

“Looking for your dumb ass.” He’s pulling back, kitchen knife still in hand as he stands. “You’re the one who asked for my help.” Five looks down at the blade, absent thoughts on how it feels in his palm, the slight weight.

“And you decided to jump me when I got home?” Diego is given a disapproving look, one that holds to many insults for him to count.

“You threw the knife first.”

“Because someone was in my space.” The door is pulled shut, distant sounds of the gym growing muffled. “How did you even get here?”

“I drove?” Five is sitting back down on the bed, picking the picture up from earlier. “Where have you been?” He misses the disapproving look on the other’s face, the way his brother’s body language gives away too much of his thoughts.

“Out getting clues, inspecting old crime scenes.” He moves to undo the holster around his chest when Five is standing back up, abrupt movements as he holds the picture up to Diego. “I want to see this place.” It’s familiar in a way he doesn’t want to talk about, an unsettling sensation that clings to the back of his mind. Five thinks that if he sees it, if he can touch something then he might understand what the Commissions end goal is. A ripple effect on time and he wants to try and maintain it while attempting to help Diego cope with their current reality.

An act of penance in his own mind.

“You’re awfully uppity now, going out given your predicament.” Diego isn’t declining the idea, hands dropping back to his sides. “What made you change your mind?”

“You asked.” Five says, eyes pointed up through dark strands of hair.

Diego’s car was old, the leather seats worn and cracked, the fabric on the ceiling starting to detach. It held a scent that Five couldn’t place, one that he avoided by rolling the window down. He hated not being in control, hated being the passenger. Attention constantly pulled away from the road, from the way the headlights shown in the fading light, how strips of gold filtered in between tall buildings.

The radio’s on, volume so low Five can barely hear it over the engine and the wind as they drive. He’s slouched in the seat, back curved and knees pushed up close to the dash. Some part of his mind that never shuts off is trying to analyze the Handler’s warning, pick out the small details rippling through time. There’s a connection there, close to the edge and just out of grasp, a minor event that changes things. He has a sinking feeling he’s caught a glimpse of it in some long-forgotten life.

Headlights reflect off of old and abandoned buildings, the road going bumpy as they pull into a warehouse district. At night there’s little light spilling out from large buildings, the parking lot empty and when the engine is shut off Five can feel the silence press in all around him. Reminiscent of time spent alone and he’s kicking the door open in a rush. Diego follows after him, heavy steps on broken asphalt.

“I think I stayed here, for a time.” The words are never meant to come out, a private thought he had for himself. Five doesn’t elaborate, doesn’t want to call attention to a slip of the tongue. Instead he starts walking forward, towards the large building with broken glass windows.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Diego’s voice is startlingly loud in the space, pulls Five’s attention back. A turn of the head and he can barely make out his brothers features. “Cause you’re doing that weird not talking thing.”

He comes full stop, body turning and a smile forms on his lips. Saccharine and cruel, a mask that’s too easy to hide behind. “I’m going where I think I should. Tell me if I’m wrong but the building is empty inside, all broken machinery and a maze of offices.”

Diego crosses his arms over his chest and Five can’t help but stretch his smile wider.

There’s something being held back, words that the taller male wants to say. Five doesn’t wait for them to gather, is turning and heading off towards the building, polished shoes barely audible. To say he’s uncomfortable is an understatement, shoulders tense and obscured by the night. Yellow tinged streetlamps hum around them, nearly drowning out the faint sounds of the city.

“You don’t have to do this.” Diego hurries to catch up to him, “To prove a point to me.”

“That’s not why I’m doing this.” Unamused tone and Five pauses, is reminded of a similar time that ended with cuts to his neck and the other being stabbed.

“Then why? And don’t bullshit me, it’s not because I asked.”

“What would be an acceptable answer, _brother_?” Jaw tense and he turns, feels brash at the realization that Diego was always going to be taller than him. Conflicting emotions and the inability to say what needs to be said. “That I can indulge in my fucked up side? Think like the murderer that I really am?” He’s spitting venom once more, pushing anyone back who comes to close. “You of all people know, you’ve seen it at Griddy’s, at the racetrack – I’m good at this, I’m actually the best.”

There’s a loud smack, an open-handed hit to his face. It’s shocking more then anything, skin stinging from the sensation.

“Talk to me or I’m leaving your ass here.” Five can see the barely controlled anger radiating in Diego’s eyes, a look he hasn’t seen since Hazel and Cha-Cha shot Eudora. It only adds to the weight in his chest, the panic he felt over the eerie silence. All emotions he shoved back down, covered up with cruel words and fake smiles.

“Five,” It comes out low and commanding, pulls anxiety to the surface.

“Just leave.” He’s turning, increasing the distance between himself and Diego.

Silence falls around them, white noise from the city bleeding into the ambiance and Five feels like he needs to get away. Diego’s selfish and cruel at times but he sees people for what they really are, a trait he fostered long ago. It’s something Five envies, something he doesn’t think he’ll ever obtain. Years stacked upon years learning to exist alone fractured him, pieces broken apart further by Temps.

Behind him he can hear steps, the sound of the car door being pulled open and he wants nothing more then to disappear into a flash of blue light. Headlights flick on as the engine starts up, a low rumble that obscures all other sounds. A last warning sign and Five can’t help but think Diego’s emotionally baiting him, pushing and letting go only to push again. _Childish antics._ He’s close to the building now when the engine’s shut off, the light still on.

Something’s said, called out but the words are muffled.  
Obscured by the loud pop of a gunshot.

The noise ricochets off the buildings around them, loud and unsettling and Five turns. The sight of too many figures dressed in black, faces obscured, has panic rolling through him. Weapons pointed up, towards Diego and it’s almost like they have no knowledge of him, no inclination of firing at him. The sight burns in his chest, an anger filling him. Not even a full day and he should have _known_.

She never cared about his demands, was only ever at constant war with him. The timeline never mattered, was an ever-present lie meant to blot over ulterior motives. Bile fills the back of his throat as he moves to run towards them, shoes pushing against pavement. Playful words mixed in with carefree warnings and Five wants to go back in time and yell at himself. His feet hit the uneven pavement; weight pushed into each step. The Handler only ever shown up when her own plans were going astray. Five doesn’t think he’ll make it, too much distance shoved between them and it was likely the woman’s plan all along.

Soft light, tinged blue around the edge forms, one step after the next

He’s between Diego and the others

Hands grabbing at the fabric of his brother’s jacket

Another step  
the world g i v e s _w a y_

Five feels like they’re **falling**.

Bright light, the ground flying up and he lands heavily. Full force and Diego makes a pained sound somewhere beside him.

_The sun sinking in the sky above._

Orange light is cast over the vacant parking lot, long shadows curling out from the buildings and the car is gone. Five’s shaking, rolling onto his back as he sucks in a sharp breath, lungs burning. He feels like his body is on fire, head spinning, and he can’t seem to grasp his placement. **((Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.))** Vision slipping, body feeling like he’s moving in and out of time, stop motion before his eyes and he’s flickering. The very real sense of _something_ having been ripped out of him is present, replaced with a foreign object.

Distinct and not his own.

_Shaking hands claw at his chest, at the ground, nails breaking._

**Panic** and _clarity_ , another gasp for air and he squirms, twisting on broken asphalt. Shattered into a hundred pieces and patched back together. **((Ragdoll; the patchwork boy - _!!_ ))** The feeling in his chest is tight, constraining and nothing about it seems natural. **((** **Humpty Dumpty had a great fall**. **))** Tears form and he’s struggling to see the sky above him, the setting sun and the vacant lot. **((** **All the king’s horses -** **))** Muffled words, uncoordinated limbs that don’t feel like his own and Five can feel something distant in the back of his mind. **(( – And all the king’s men… ))**

He thinks this is what dying must feel like.

_Blue spotted light, choked down sobs  
falling in and out of time_

Body lurched forward, tight grip on his chest and he’s being pulled upright. **((Couldn’t put Humpty together again.))** Unease seeps into the place of his mind that’s not his own, arms curled around him. Another breath in and the feeling of settling back into his own skin hits him, a shattered high that he never wants to experience again. **((Couldn’t put – back together again.))** Still shivering and the dark spots blotting out his vision fade. A streetlight pops on, a faint hum that pulls at broken and distant memories. Shoved down and buried, locked away.

The grip on his shoulders and chest grows tighter, solid and real and Five can feel the worry blossom in the back of his mind.

Not  
his own.

Secondhand emotions flickering in...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my bad if you're confused
> 
> wait
> 
> you probably should be


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Got a deathwish baby  
> Push my buttons, you'll be pushin' up daisies

「 So much breakage  
I see your face in blank spaces 」

Cut up knees, skin broken from dragging against the asphalt and Five is trembling. Small shivers that come and go like the tide, muscles tight. He’s looking down as he follows behind Diego, tips of his shoes scuffed from dragging his feet. Mind numb and a car drives past, headlights washing over the two of them. He looks away, arms pulled tight over his chest and hair a mess. Diego pauses, attention turning towards him and Five thinks something was said, is finding it hard to focus properly. The ache inside of his chest is prominent, consuming and he wants to pull his skin from his body.

“How far back did you bring us?” The question feels loud, deafening against his ears and Five can’t bring himself to look up, has to close his eyes a moment to focus. He curves his back, shrinking his appearance as another wave of nerves hits him. He’s never felt so disoriented before, felt like he wasn’t fully sitting in his own skin. Another car drives by, engine humming as the tires scrape against the broken street. Five is turning, facing away from the road on instinct.

His body still doesn’t feel right, like he’s broken into pieces.

Diego moves a fraction closer and Five can feel something inside of him change, clawing at the surface. Pressure eases up in the back of his head, a light being switched on and he’s taking two steps forward unintentionally. Decreased distance and the shivering ebbs, tight knot in his stomach loosening. “I’m not sure.” His throat aches, feels like he’s been screaming for days on end. For all he knows he has. “I didn’t…”

Pressure forms behind his eyes, tunnel vision and he’s being tugged forward, arm curling around his shoulders. Barely there contact and it’s like before, like when he finally realized they’d been sitting alone in the abandoned parking lot. Diego held onto him.

“We’re almost to the gas station, just a little bit longer ‘n I’ll call mom.”

“I don’t feel – right.” The words come out to fast, a thought that he’d normally keep to himself. Diego holds him a bit tighter, a gentle squeeze before backing away. He’s turning and continuing down the sidewalk towards the brightly lit gas station.

Panic swells in Five’s chest and a stray thought about finally dying resurfaces. _Don’t use your powers while you’re aging._ He misses the startled sound his brother makes, a sharp intake of air as he comes to a stop again. Five is taking quick steps, feeling blind, and he walks into Diego’s back. There’s too many things going on for him to try and focus, scattered memories filtering in like flipping through photographs, instances of time. It’s everything he’s ever tried to push back down; emotions being ripped to the surface and it’s near suffocating.

Diego’s turning back to face him, hand moving to slim shoulders. A small squeeze and it’s enough to help Five focus. Brief bouts of clarity, and the pressure on his shoulder moves down his arm, tight grip on his bicep. He’s pulled forward, uncoordinated steps up towards the gas station. Fluorescent humming lights and a lot with three vehicles. They’re given a look by a man coming out of the store, eyes flicking over the way Five is stumbling, the way Diego’s pulling him along, messed up hair and scrapped knees.

Mouth open and he’s about to say something when Five looks up. Glossy green eyes and a twisted smile forming. “The fuck you looking at?” His head tilts to the side, movement loose and uncontrolled. Diego abruptly tugs him back, towards the payphone.

“Stop it.” He hisses, hand dropping. “You’re the one wearing that stupid uniform still.”

The loss of contact settles in the forefront of his mind, annoyance filling in the vacant space in his head. Five tilts his head back, eyes staring up at the bright lights as Diego drops coins into the phone. He’s shivering lightly, a constant tremble that he can’t seem to chase away. A side effect of falling back in time he assumes. He’s only ever done it once before, with disastrous results.

Beside him Diego punches in the numbers to the house, the line rings and it’s a light, muffled sound. Five slides down the side of the building, blazer bunched up behind him as his head presses against the brick wall. The line rings once, twice before it clicks.

“Hello?” Grace’s voice is calm and easy.

Green eyes slip shut and Five can’t help but notice the calm that fills in the back of his head.

“Hi mom, is Luther home?” Diego keeps his voice level, eyes flicking down to Five for a moment.

“Diego dear, Five was looking for you, did you find him? And Luther went out for food about an hour ago, he should be back soon. Can I leave him a message?”

Lips press together for a half second. “No, I just needed him to come pick me up.”

“Well, Allison is here. Would you like me to get her?”

When the car pulls into the gas station it’s parked at an angle in front of the pay phone. The lights are shut off as the woman steps out of the driver’s side. Purple hair, pressed straight of any curl and Diego can’t help but smirk at Allison’s new look.

“Don’t even start, it’s for a role I have coming up.” She’s standing beside the driver’s side of the rental, dressed in slim jeans and sneakers. “I came by to see everyone since I’ll be busy for a few months.” Her eyes are drawn towards Five as he’s being pulled upright. Uncoordinated steps towards the backseat of the car and the door is tugged open. It’s clear she wants to say something, her eyes flicking from one to the other, as if waiting for a response.

“What happened?” Is what she settles on, moving back into the driver’s seat. Doors snapped shut and Five lays down across the backseat. The car is clean, a few small items of Allison’s strewn about. An extra pair of shoes sitting on the floorboard, a can of soda with a straw in the cup holder, a long-forgotten bottle of water rolling around on the floor.

“Nothing,” He says, eyes pointed up at the ceiling. Allison snorts in response as the lights are turned back on. The car pulls back, slow movement as they roll out of the gas station.

“You look a good ten years older but you’re still sporting that ridiculous uniform and you tell me nothing?”

Beside her in the passenger seat Diego stifles a laugh.

“I’m just saying I haven’t been gone that long, it wasn’t even a full month.” The turn signal is flipped on, a steady clicking sound, and the car pulls out onto the road. The acceleration pushes Five farther into the seat, head turning just a bit to look up at Diego. There’s mild nausea hitting him, a sensation that has him turning and pressing his face into the seat cushions.

“Why don’t you sit up if you’re feeling sick.” Diego’s words have Allison looking at him, confused and behind her Five makes a sound.

“It’s not going to help.”

“Seriously, what happened?” She glances towards the back seat for a half second, trying to not look away from the road for to long. “You look like Klaus coming off a high.”

It’s an adequate representation of how he feels and Five can’t help but smirk against fabric. If he really was going to die, he might as well try and have some fun. There’s a hand reaching back and grabbing at the fabric of his sweater vest, pulling him up.

“Enough of this self-loathing crap, you’re not going to die.”

“What?” Allison echoes from the driver’s seat, glancing back at them. The lack of lighting makes it hard for her to see Five’s expression, her eyes being pulled back to the road. “Seriously what are you two talking about.” She feels like she’s listening to someone talk on the phone, only hearing half of what’s being said.

“What are you talking about?” Five snaps, words sharp sounding.

“You were just going on about dying and how getting high might be a good idea.”

“What?!” Allison snaps and the car swerves.

Five kicks at the back of Diego’s seat, shaking the vehicle. “What are you _talking_ about?” He’s pulling himself back, held in place by the grip on his clothes. The movement stretches the fabric and it’s near comical aside from the anger showing on his face.

“You keep going on about how you’re dying!” Diego pulls hard, dragging Five back towards him only to get a foot in his face. They’re struggling with each other over the seats and Allison is fighting to keep the car moving in a straight line.

“Stop making shit up!” Five kicks again, his ankle being caught and dragged up. He’s pulled onto his back, blazer scrunched up and shirt coming untucked. “I didn’t _say_ shit about dying you oaf!”

“What is going ON?!” The car starts to slow down as they come to a red light, the vehicle shaking as the two passengers continue to fight. Allison has her foot pressed to the break peddle, is turning to try and look at her siblings. “Neither of you are making any sense!”

“Let ME GO!” Five near shrieks, is reaching up and pulling at Diego’s too long hair.

“You’re the fucker who keeps spouting shit about being a fucking killer because you don’t wanna talk about shit with me.” Diego is halfway to the back seat, one hand grabbing at Five’s wrist hard enough to bruise. “Fucking lying asshole – YOU DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME THAT BITCH CAME TO SEE YOU!”

The light changes, the car pulling off and Five shrieks, an angry feral sound as he tries to pull himself away. “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” There’s panic welling up in his chest, breathing harsh and the shaking is back, full body trembles. He thinks he’s going to be sick, is twisting and turning to try and reach the car door.

Allison presses the locks into place. “Don’t you DARE jump out!” The car swerves again, too much movement and it’s a sight to be seen, a mess from the outside perspective. They probably look like they’re kidnapping Five.

“Allison he’s going to puke – roll the windows down!”

“No I’m NOT!” Five snaps, stomach twisting and he’s glaring daggers at Diego.

“STOP LYING!”

The window creaks, a barely there sound as warm air rushes in and Five doesn’t move towards it. Diego makes an annoyed sound, is trying to drag his brother back towards him. “Why do you have to be so goddamn difficult!”

“LET ME GO!” Five is kicking again, feels like his world is spinning. The grip on his ankle is back, dragging and he thinks if he were in his right mind, if that serum wasn’t in his system he’d vanish in a flash of light.

“Oh no – _you’re not running away this time_. Can’t blink your ass out of this one!” Diego snaps and Allison is starting to say something else, scream at the two of them to _calm down_. Except Five’s heart has jumped up into his throat, full blow panic as nausea hits him like a wave, drowning. He whines, a pitiful broken sound and Diego is pushing him towards the window, fingers curling into the fabric of his jacket, holding onto him. The world is spinning, twisting before his eyes and the air rushing in from outside the vehicle is filled with the scent of gasoline and oil. Five gags, bile and spit being spilled out across the street as they drive.

The car has gone eerily silent.

Diego is facing the backseat now, long limbs twisted up to accommodate the position. He’s holding onto Five, keeping him grounded as he hangs out the window.

“What the fuck,” Allison breathes as they come to another red light. “Is going on?”

“Nothing.” Five mumbles from outside of the car, palms reaching up to rub at his eyes. He thinks about how badly he’s fucked up, how he should have just talked to Diego when they got there. Instead he’d panicked, covered up his own insecurities with cruel words. Always pointing daggers at himself, it was easier then hearing them from someone else, easier than admitting his fears.

Beside him Diego is pinching at the bridge of his nose, brows knitting together. “Can you stop being so self-deprecating?”

“What are you _talking_ about?” Five snaps, words less sharp, exhaustion setting in. He feels like he’s running on fumes, a lack of caffeine, of sugar, finally getting to him. Sugar always boosted his abilities, helped him focus –

Diego is grabbing the can of soda and pushing it into Five’s hands. He turns and starts to slide back into his seat when the chair is kicked. Five is practically launching himself to the far corner, creating as much space between them as possible, nails digging into the can, crinkling it.

“What? Hey that’s my drink!” Allison is eyeing him through the mirror.

He feels it then, a prominent confusion mixed with annoyance settling into the back of his mind. Five thinks about ripping the door open, throwing himself from the vehicle. Diego’s shoving his way into the back seat, torso pressed between the front seats as he grabs at Five once more. There’s another snarl, the soda can crinkling as Five tries for the latch on the door. The car shakes violently, a sharp turn and throws the two in the backseat around. The drink spills over Five, down his hand and chest and onto the car seats.

Heads bump together with an audible crack and the brakes screech as the car comes to a full stop. Allison is jerking around in her seat to yell at her brothers as the back door is popped open. Five is trying to bolt from the car as Diego grabs at his blazer in an attempt to yank him back. It’s discarded onto the ground, faded cement in an empty strip mall and Five only makes it a few feet before he’s being ripped back, arm yanked.

“WILL YOU TWO STOP BEFORE THE COPS ARE CALLED?!” Allison is climbing from the car in time to see the two of them rolling around on the ground, full blown punches being thrown. Five kicks at Diego, free hand hitting his chest to try and pull his other arm loose. They roll over and Diego uses his size to push Five down. His hair is ripped at for a second time that night as Allison screams at them, her foot stomping on the ground. Her words are muted, lost in the mix of the scuffle.

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

“STOP GODDMAN LYING ALL THE TIME!”

“I’M NOT LYING!”

“YOU JUST DID!” There’s a punch to Five’s lower ribs, over the old bullet wound that’s healed up and it knocks the air from him. His hand loosens in Diego’s hair, is enough of a moment for him to be turned back towards the car. Allison is pushing herself between them, arms curling around Five’s chest as she tries to pull him back, feels like she’s hanging onto a feral cat.

“I HEARD A RUMOR YOU BOTH TOLD ME WHAT’S GOING ON!”

“I can feel Diego’s consciousness in my head.”

“I can feel Five’s emotions and thoughts.”

They both speak at the same time, Five’s kicking and struggling movements ceasing in Allison’s arms. It’s a jumble of words, ones that take her a second to fully grasp. Beside them the car continues to idle, a low quiet rumbling sound that fills the air around them. “What?” Allison let’s her brother go, watches as he straightens himself up right, still a few inches shorter than herself. She breathes in slowly, calming herself before asking, “How did this happen?”

“I fucked up.” Five moves back to the car, pulling the door shut behind himself and rolling the window back up. Allison’s eyes turn towards Diego as he presses lightly against his split lip, checking to see how bad it was bleeding.

“I don’t know shit, other then I nearly got shot up by those time traveling assholes again.”

“Oh great – _lovely_ , is the world ending again? Do I need to make a house call on Vanya?”

The car window is rolled back down, “Can we get going now? I need a shower and I’m pretty sure Diego broke my rib.”

“Stop being so goddamn dramatic, it’s a bruise and _we both know it_.” Diego snaps back as he moves back to the front passenger seat, yanking the door shut with a loud snap. Allison stands there a moment longer, feeling something akin to a tension headache coming on. “No more fighting in the car.” She huffs out before climbing back in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist I use for writing this:  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/11MYD3VuKPnybcipc8aDYi?si=iZE_62AeTqC-nTONFo8Ung


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiss me in slow motion  
> When the rush kicks in  
> Goosebumps forever

「 Hallucinations, you occupy  
My imagination’s running wild 」

The front door is shoved open with enough force that it bounces back, nearly hitting Diego in the face. Five is stomping his way up stairs, a flurry of heavy steps for someone as small as he was, form darting around the corner and out of sight as quickly as possible. He doesn’t still around for Allison to come in a moment later, closing the door in time with Luther stepping into the Foyer. Five doesn’t need to _be_ in the room to know Luther was eating ice cream, doesn’t need to see his face to know Diego thinks he’s gotten into Klaus’ stash again.

The knowledge is there, sitting in the back of his mind, thoughts and memories that aren’t his own. Prominent and if he wanted, he could reach out, peel back the layers and look into Diego’s mind. It’s only now, in the confines of his own room that he realizes that’s what was happening earlier. Diego had been unintentionally sifting through his head, picking at memories and thoughts. The feeling of being close strikes a chord in his chest, has him moving to lock the bedroom door. Out in the hall the floorboards creak, heavy boots and it’s a sound he doesn’t want to hear.

“Go away.” The steps stop outside of his room, a weight shifting against the door.

Five knows Diego is leaning against the frame.

“We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.” Green eyes squeeze shut and he’s pressing his forehead against the door, instinctual and he doesn’t understand why. Exhaustion is filling the back of his head, tinged with worry and he wants nothing more than to hit something.

“Five.”

“Go away.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Diego sounds tired, like he’s giving in, accepting. It causes anger to surge up in Five’s chest, a feeling he shoves back down, like bile in the back of his throat. There’s too many thoughts and sensations, a catastrophe and images of burying his family’s bodies comes back up. On the other side of the door he thinks he can hear Diego hold his breath, a small movement that causes the old wood to creak.

“Sorry – can’t help it.” A hollow laugh follows his words, a bitter note crisping the edges. “Comes with the territory in the head.”

“Just open the door, you can’t keep running from this.”

“Why don’t you just poke around some more in my head.” The doors pulled open and Diego’s met with another too sweet smile. His expression drops, frown setting into place.

“Your head doesn’t make sense, it’s easier to talk.” Diego pushes himself off of the wall, takes the invitation without another word. He waits for the door to click shut once more, for the quite to settle back in. “Can you stop with that fake smile, I get it, you do it when you’re uncomfortable now.”

Five’s expression faulters, a twitch of the lips. He watches as his brother sits down on the edge of his bed; elbows pressed against knees. Fingers rake through too long hair and Five is watching his movements like he’s never seen them before. A small shiver runs through him, remnant of the ones before, of when he was trying to pull himself back together.

“You’re not broken.” Diego says, isn’t even looking at him. “Not like… how you keep thinking.” Off topic and it’s hard to get around the scattered thoughts.

Five opts to lean against his dresser beside the door, arms crossing over his chest. He doesn’t respond to the comment, doesn’t even want to acknowledge his own thoughts. “You wanted to talk. What is it you don’t understand?” He’s pushing everything back down, trying to bury it all, an attempt at control. Diego seems to notice this, a small twitch of the lips, vague amusement.

“She visited you.”

“She threatened me.”

“Is there really a difference at this point?”

A tilt of the head and Five silently agrees, wants to get this done and over with as quickly as possible. He crosses his arms over his chest, elbow scratched up from their fight in the parking lot, white button-down shirt streaked with oil and dirt. “She said to not go after,” Five breathes in, hates the idea of using the Handlers exact words.

Diego seems to catch on, picks them out of his brother’s head. “Doll Collector?”

“Yeah, she’s using him to do something.” Another small shiver runs down Five’s back, his hand reaching up and rubbing over his face. He thinks about ripples through time again, the butterfly effect and across the room Diego makes a small sound, understanding.

“You think she’s working to gain something?”

“She’s always working to gain something.” There’s a drained note to his voice, exhausted from _everything_. It’s been to long since he used his abilities, unbolstered by sugar and caffeine. Five pushes himself up from the dresser, slow steps around the room. “I just need to try and figure out what. I did enough of her special hits that I could probably see the connections.” The file lying on his nightstand is picked up and Diego thinks they’re falling off topic.

He’s given a side look from Five. “This is on topic.”

“Yeah because that isn’t uncomfortable.” Diego leans back, hands itching for a blade to hold.

“Don’t like me poking around your head? Don’t go into mine.” Snide amusement and another tremor runs through him, visible enough for the other to notice.

 _“Don’t say it.”_ He pushes the thought out, aimed at Diego who rolls his eyes in response. The ability to understand, to comprehend without clearly hearing the words is surreal, unsettling in a way Five doesn’t want to linger on.

“Stop ignoring things, you’re not shot like that one time, right?”

Papers are flipped through again, sorted and a handful are discarded on the bed. Diego reaches over to grab his arm, a light grip to keep him from running away. The reaction is instantaneous, a quick inhale of air, body going tense and Five has to squeeze his eyes shut. A shuttering breath in and he pulls his arm back, frown pushed onto his face.

“I wasn’t _shot_ I’m just drained from time jumping.” He’s dropped everything on the bed, is backing up, creating space.

“What was that?” Diego is the one to say it, to bring attention to the sensation that shot through him, through both of them.

“Nothing.” Another step back, arms moving to cross over his chest, defiant.

“You can’t lie to me anymore.” The bed creaks as Diego stands up, steps heavy on the floor and Five can feel his chest tighten. Panic forming, caged and out of control and he’s glancing back towards the door. Diego takes that moment to reach for his arm once more, fingers curling around bare skin as he tugs them away from Five’s chest.

Fumbled steps, scuffed up shoes tripping over the old rug and Five is backing up, trying to pull his arms free. He hits the door, latch rattling in place as he pulls again. Bright lights spark behind his eyes, static energy rolling down his spine, making his knees weak. “Diego, let go.” He’s speaking through gritted teeth, jaw tight.

Tunnel vision forming and he turns his head, tries to suck in a breath of air. It catches in his throat, palm sliding from his forearm up to his bicep, fingers just under dirtied white fabric. “What is…” The words fall over the top of his head, breathed out against matted hair, causes the skin on the back of his neck to prickle. “First your thoughts – now… this?”

“Let go.” Five tries to hiss the word out, add venom to it except it catches on his tongue, comes out in a tremble.

He’s shaking.

Heart hammering against his chest and it’s growing harder to see, everything feels bright and consuming, the lights above them humming with electricity. Another tug of his arm, hands moving to push at Diego’s, and it sends another rush though him. Stomach flipping, the feeling of the floor giving out below them and a whine spills out. He’s slipping, back sliding against the door and for a brief moment there’s clarity, a chance to breathe as his arms are let go.

Diego’s pulling him back up, arms curling around his chest, lifting him in a tight embrace. The door rattles from the movement, floor creaking and Five sucks in a mouthful of air. It’s the touch of skin that’s making his mind go hazy, leaves him in a drug induced haze. “Told you to – let go.” His head tilts back, hits against the door. He’s gripping at Diego’s arms, at bare skin, nails digging in.

He feels a hand pressing against his back, beneath his shirt.

A choked sound falls out and neither knows who it came from. Five is pushing himself up now, blunt nails dragging over more skin, red lines in his wake and he breathes in heavily through his nose. It’s hard to see, hard to focus on anything in the room that isn’t Diego. The door rattles, the lamp on the dresser beside them knocked over onto the floor. Five’s sitting there now, shivers running through him the more skin he’s touching. He’s losing his grip on control, head spinning. The hand on his back slides up, shirt being pushed with it.

Fingers press into the bruise forming on his side, over the old bullet wound. He hisses in response, hands pulling away from skin long enough to yank at Diego’s shirt. Uncontrolled movements and the bare skin of his scratched-up knee brushes against his brother’s hip. The air in the room grows hot, another spark runs through them and Five is pushing himself up. Legs curl around Diego, hands moving up his arms, pulling the back of his shirt up. The room’s twisting around them, another flicker of light and Five barely registers the fact that they’re teleporting by accident.

His back hits the wall, foot knocking more items off the windowsill in another clattering mess. There’s an arm wrapped around his hips, the hand on his back sliding up higher and a broken sound squeezes out between them. Five presses his face against Diego’s neck, nose against skin, lips close to his pulse. He’s sucking in another breath, pulling at the harness and black shirt. Flickers of light and the bed creaks beneath him, back pressed up against the soft mattress. He keeps his legs curled around Diego, ankles locked as hands press over his stomach, sliding up under his shirt, to his chest.

Five curves up into the touch, stomach flipping at the swooping sensation that rolls through him. He’s pushing, rutting up with his hips, the need to feel more skin as his hands tug at Diego’s shirt again. A frustrated sound bubbles up and Five shoves at Diego, rolling them over. A loud thunk on the floor as they fall off the bed. Five’s knees aching from the force of it as he straddles Diego. He has to blink, blinding lights filling his vision, making it impossible to see.

Diego’s hands are on his hips again, fingers spread out on skin and he’s pushing up against him. A frantic rhythm, stunted movements and Five is dragging his hands up his brother’s chest, nails pressing against skin once more. His eyes have fallen shut, back curving as he ruts down, applying pressure. Static energy forms between them, a flickering of light. Diego makes a sound below him, a noise that Five wants to hear again. He pulls his eyes open, skin flushed and mouth open and there’s something in that knowledge that excites him.

It’s because he knows Diego likes it.

Hips rolling, pressure applied, and Five’s being pulled down. A hand on his hip slides up, curls around his back and holds him in place. Fingers pull at his hair, exposing his neck in a mockery of submission. A startled sound falls out, sparks of desire rolling through him and it’s almost humorous how he’s only just now realizing how aroused he is. Every touch to skin is pushing him higher, making him throb in his shorts. Nails scrape over his back, along his spine and it pulls another sound out of him. It’s whorish to his own ears and Diego seems to _drown_ in it.

Arm locked over his back, holding him in place, stunting his movements and Five nearly collapses against him. He’s pressing his face against Diego’s neck, sucking in humid air as the hand on his hip moves to his thigh, slipping up under fabric as best it can. His leg is pulled up higher, hips pressing down and they’re rolling over. It’s Diego’s turn to nose against skin, heavy breaths falling against Five’s ear as he pulls his leg off to the side. He’s pushing, hips rolling in obscene movements and it’s so close to fucking that Five thinks he’s falling apart. His back curves, chest pressing up against Diego’s and the fabric is yanked up, bunched beneath his arms. Warmth rolls though him, heart hammering against his ribs as he squeezes his eyes shut, cock throbbing between his legs. Five squirms, head turning to the side.

Diego takes the moment to press lips to skin, tongue swiping over a thundering pulse. His hips push down, body trapping his brother in place. Nails dig into the soft flesh of Five’s thigh, shorts pulled tight from the hand slipped underneath. He’s choking, lungs constrained, arms wrapped around Diego like his life depended on it. Teeth sink into his neck, hard enough to bruise and it rips a startled gasp from Five. He’s cumming, white hot and lights flashing before his eyes. A noise much to loud for the quiet house and lips seal over his, muffling him. Fingers digging into Diego, body shivering as he continues to push up with his hips, thighs spread.

Lips still pressed together, body’s trembling.

A sharp knock on wood, “When you two finish your stupid fight we have a family meeting.” Allison sounds exhausted from the other side of the door, her steps quiet as she walks away.

A sob works its way up from Five’s chest in her absence, broken sounding as tears start to form. He’s spiraling out of control, hands still clinging to Diego’s shirt as he pushes and pulls at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll
> 
> ...
> 
> I'm so sorry I can't stop writing
> 
> I also RP on tumblr


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I put my hands around your wrists, would you fight them?  
> If I put my fingers in your mouth, would you bite them?

「 I smell something burning  
We’re melting down tonight 」

Legs crossed, body pressed up against the arm of the couch and the only thing Five can hear is the steady tick tick tick of the clock sitting on the bookshelf. His shirts still untucked, clothes ruffled and hair a mess. There’s dark splotches of color forming on pale skin, bruises on his knees mixing in with the scrapes from earlier. Scattered about the room are the rest of his siblings, Diego sitting as far from him as possible at the bar. It’s a space that feels like too much and not enough all at the same time. The couch shifts, springs creaking from the way Klaus drops down beside him.

Five’s frown deepens in response, brows creasing as the movement causes him to shift. It pulls his attention towards the very real and very damp, sticky sensation of his shorts. It’s uncomfortable to say the least, is something he’d rather wash away as soon as possible.

“Do we have to wait for Vanya?” Klaus is stretching out beside him, spine curved as he shrinks down in the couch. “Can’t we just, fill her in? Little Five isn’t so little now, oh and the time assassins are back.” Too many movements and the couch creaks under them again. It’s enough to have Five leaning over and shoving at his brother, an annoyed huff in his chest. Less venom than usual, less force and it has Klaus looking at him again, ignoring the way Allison rolls her eyes.

“You know what happened last time we didn’t include her in a meeting. We don’t need that again.” She pushes herself away from the table she’d been leaning against, is pacing around the room.

“How did you get so… not a kid?” Luther asks from his seat beside the bar. “I saw you the other day and you weren’t…” A shrug of oversized shoulders and Five rolls his eyes. The front door opens, and falls shut quietly, soft steps on tile. Vanya appears in the doorway, mussed hair and violin case in hand. “I came as soon as possible.” She moves to sit beside Klaus on the couch, causing the cushions to shift again. Five’s eyes fall shut, his hand moving to rub at his face. He wants nothing more than to teleport from the room, to clean himself off and put on fresh clothes. A polished exterior to cover up the mess inside of his head.

He can feel Diego’s amusement trickling into the back of his mind.

Five can’t help but turn his gaze towards his brother, distaste and anger radiating from his eyes. Allison paces between them, “Okay so, everyone’s here, start talking.” She gives a small wave of the hand and he realizes now that her _mother_ voice is in full effect. Vague amusement at how she sounds like she’s scolding children for fighting when they’d been doing anything but.

“Pogo and Grace made me a serum.” There’s a barely there scratch to his voice, a sound that he swallows down, eyes turning towards a distant wall. Feigned boredom in hopes to end this as quickly as possible.

“How does that pertain to… whatever you were up to when Diego called?” Allison is moving back across the room as Klaus stretches out, all long limbs spilling off the couch. It pulls at the cushions, jostling Five and Vanya just enough to be cumbersome.

Silent laughter at his discomfort trickles in, is pushed back with the realization that Diego was in the same predicament. His lips twitch up into a smug grin, mind preoccupied as the conversation moves on. “Diego asked for my help.” Green eyes are turning back towards the rest of the room, skirting over Diego in the background. There’s a silent nudge to get him to speak up, to add to the conversation, to take the attention off of himself.

“With what?” Luther seems to perk up, interested in playing hero once again. “Is it anything I – _we_ can help with?”

“It’s nothing.” Diego sounds as done with the conversation as Five feels. “Just a thing I wanted to get cleaned up.”

“A thing that caused you and Five to - ” Allison starts.

“Don’t you dare say it.” The two snap in near unison, a quick enough response that causes the room to go silent for a brief moment.

“Oh, that’s interesting.” Klaus mutters, eyes turning towards his feet.

“Why? It’s not something the two of you need to keep hidden.” Alison’s looking between them, all concerned eyes and worried expression. Five wants to shift in his seat, wants to get up and leave the room and be done with the whole _meeting_. There’s annoyance filtering in, a push back at memories that are sitting at the edge of his thoughts, waiting to creep back in. He knows his default to anything that takes away his control is anger and sharp words, and the fact that he has _company_ inside of his own head is far more than just unsettling.

“No, it’s not, but I’d rather not have to explain to everyone in the goddamn room my own personal shit.” Five’s attention has shifted back towards his sister, expression pinched and if it weren’t for the mess in his own shorts, he’d be standing. “Would you like everyone to butt into your personal shit? How about the times you crept around with Luther? Hunh?” There’s acid dripping from his words, a silent nudge of _stop stop stop!_ Being hissed at him.

“What are you even talking about?” She sounds breathless, shocked and Luther is moving to stand up. “That’s got nothing to do with – “

“Then stop fucking asking me what happened. It’s my own damn shit and I’ll take care of it. The Handler is going after _me_ not the rest of you dumb fucks.” Five’s hand moves to the arm rest, fingers pressing against it and he pushes himself up finally. All graceful movements and casual steps and Diego is quietly amused at how casual he seems.

“What is wrong with you?” Allison snaps, moving forward to pull Five back. Vanya lets out a soft ‘oh no’ in response, hands moving up to rub at her eyes. The words are lost in the background, in the way Diego stands up abruptly – _“Don’t do it,”_ – in the way Five rips his arm back.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” He takes on a hunched stance, one that Diego has seen only a handful of times, one that says his brother isn’t playing nice. “I’m leaving because I’m done with this family meeting. Temps isn’t going after any of you, they want me that apocalypse isn’t happening again, Vanya isn’t going to lose her goddamn shit, but I might if you all don’t back off.”

“Why are you being such a – what is on your _neck?”_ Allison leans back expression shifting as her eyebrows shoot up towards her too sleek hair. She’s gone from angered to incredulous in record time and Five can feel his stomach drop. Diego has a knee jerk reaction in his gut, a flash of panic as Five slaps his hand over the all too real bite mark he’d left. From the couch Klaus lets up a bubble of laughter, is pushing himself up into a proper seated position.

“Did you miss the part about little Five taking a serum?” He leans forward, head resting on his hand, elbow pressed into his knee. “C’monnnn Allison keep up with the times man, Five’s taking that hard shit from a needle and of course he’s all hormonal like a pregnant lad, he needs ice cream and pickles right now.” Klaus gestures towards his own neck, a hand motion that’s likely meant to be an injection but looks to vague to be anything definitive.

Diego starts laughing, a stunted sound that bursts out into hysterics. It’s enough to pull everyone’s attention over, Luther’s expression torn between disgusted and annoyed over the situation. Vanya lets out a small sigh from the couch, clearly unsurprised with the whole scenario.

“What is wrong with you?” Five can’t help but snap, the surge of secondhand amusement washing through him. His gut twists, shamed from the laughter, from the way his siblings are all looking away with bit back smiles. “Fuck all of you – I’m going to shower.” He manages to take a whole two steps before Diego lets out another laugh, bright amusement hitting Five in the back of his mind. A sharp turn on the heel and Five is near launching himself over the couch towards him.

“WILL YOU GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

The room erupts into chaos as Allison tries to pull him back. Luther moves to the side, out of Five’s path as the two come crashing to the ground. The couch is shoved back from their fall, the sound of wood scrapping against wood screeching in the room. Vanya has pulled herself up onto the adjacent couch as Klaus drops onto the floor, reaching for something. Five kicks at the air, hands clawing at his sister’s grip against him, a snarling mess as he nearly drags her back up with him. “LET ME JUST HIT HIM!” They’re rolling around on the ground like children, Luther’s heavy steps shaking the floor as he moves towards them.

Diego leans over the couch, smug amusement showing on his face as he watches his family fight. Vanya’s trying to say something, tell them to just stop but it’s lost amongst the noise. Five twists, a frustrated mess as he tries to elbow Allison in the ribs, her grip causing his shirt to twist and bunch up. There are bruises showing on pale skin, a sight that Diego can’t help but notice, how they’re placed against his brother’s hips. He’s jumping around the couch, hands reaching down to pull Five away from Allison in time with Luther.

Fingers curl around the skin of Five’s wrist and the rush is _instant_.

Lips part, a sharp intake of air and Five is punching Diego in the face with his free hand. The hit lands on his brother’s jaw, has enough force to knock him backwards. A staggered step and Five is jumping at him, hands hitting and pulling at hair, knocking the two of them to the floor. The small table beside the couch Vanya’s curled up on rattles from the force of it, the lamp nearly tumbling off. She’s standing up on the cushions now, trying to get out of the way, slim fingers hanging onto the lamp. Diego’s hitting at Five, a punch to the side where he’d hit him before, fingers curling around his wrist and holding on tight enough to make him wince.

In the background Five can hear Luther and Allison shouting at them, frantic words as he shoves Diego onto his back. His knees hit the ground hard, sharp pain running through him and he reaches back, ready to punch him in the face again when Luther rips him up, arms tight around his chest. He’s held up in the air, legs kicking out at nothing to try and get free.

“DO I NEED TO RUMOR YOU TWO AGAIN?” Allison shrieks, full blown fury showing in her eyes.

“Don’t you DARE use your witchcraft on me!” Diego snaps, and there’s a spark of panic that Five can reciprocate. “You act like I know what’s going on!”

“Because you do!”

Five lets out a disgruntled sound, body going lax against Luther, toes pointing towards the ground. He might have gained a few inches, but it wasn’t anywhere near enough to reach the other’s height. The rooms quiet for a moment and it’s just long enough for everyone to notice the tap of heels coming down the hall.

“What is all the ruckus going on?” Grace appears in the far doorway, at the entrance to one of the halls that leads into their father’s old office. “Is everything all right?” She looks concerned, all bright, worried eyes and Luther lets Five go, his feet hitting the ground.

“Everything is _wonderful_.” He huffs, turning and finally leaving the room.

The shower is almost enough to ease the ache out of his back and shoulders, had filled the bathroom with steam that clouded up the mirror. Reflection obscured and Five pulls on a pair of pajamas that likely belonged to Luther long ago. Wet hair with beads of water dripping down his neck, brushed over with a towel and he makes his way back towards his room. The doors creaked open, single lamp left on and Five doesn’t even need to see inside to know he’s not alone.

He stops in the doorway, dirtied uniform balled up under his arm. “Why are you here?”

Diego’s laying on his bed, ankles crossed as he stares up at the ceiling. He’s changed, dark wash jeans and faded band tee and the sight is something that Five wants to smile at, casual. The emotion is shoved back down, amusement locked away and he waits for an answer.

“Because we actually need to talk.”

“Why?” Five is given a look, thoughts directed at him that cause him to roll his eyes in response. He still doesn’t move into the room, pushes wet strands of hair out of his eyes. The bite mark on his neck is all to apparent, a red splotch against pale skin, bruised around the edges. There’s blue purple and _green_ tinged marks hidden beneath the thin fabric of his pajama’s, a result of their fight from earlier, from not holding back punches.

“How is your side doing?”

“How is your jaw?”

Diego lets a smile form, vague amusement and he pushes himself up on the bed, legs hanging off the edge, sock clad feet settling onto the faded rug. Five can see that his shattered lamp has been picked up, the scattered mess of toys set back up on the windowsill, on the dresser top. “You need to leave.” It comes out light, defeated sounding and Diego doesn’t move.

“We need to – ”

“Talk, I heard you the first time.”

“Then why are you still standing in the doorway.”

Five cocks his head to the side, green eyes searching, and he can almost _feel_ the way Diego pokes around his head. An empty space, pointedly avoiding any and all thoughts. “Because I want to stay in control.” The pull in his chest is strong, a need to move forward.

He keeps himself planted, bare feet and pajama pants just a hair too long bunched up around his ankles.

“So, it’s a control thing?”

Water drips down a strand of hair, hits Five’s shoulder.

“You _know_ it’s more then that.” In the distance he can hear a door open and shut, one of their siblings moving about the house. They’re not alone, won’t ever be in the old family home. The building could be empty, yet it was haunted by their past.

“You think space will help?”

 _No –_ “Yes.” Five looks away now, knows that Diego had registered that. “You know as little as I do.”

“Allison is going to tell Luther.”

“You think?” Green eyes flick back, linger on his brother’s shoulders. “Klaus is the one I’d be worried about.”

“How so?” Outside a car honks on the street and it’s loud, sharp in Five’s mind. Diego hums in response, like he’s just now realizing something. “You’ve proven your point, what else do you want?” He doesn’t think he’s going to get a better response, is left with a tangle of thoughts overlapping.

Math equations, mixed in with scattered thoughts and brief instances of time spent alone.

Five lets his mouth open, words forming on his tongue. “Are you here to apologize?” It’s his turn to push into Diego’s thoughts, to catch a glimpse of something akin to guilt. “Because I don’t understand.”

“What don’t you understand?” A disconnect of the conversation, half unspoken. “I didn’t stop, you… _cried_.”

“Of course that’s what you got.” He shifts his weight, one foot moving and then the other, stepping into the room. “You’re not at fault. You did nothing wrong.” His clothes are dropped into the hamper beside his wardrobe.

“You told me to stop.”

“Because I didn’t have control.” There’s confusion from Diego, and it’s enough to push Five’s expression into something akin to irritation. Pinched brows, lips tights, “You seem to forget I was a part of it. Just like I was part of the fight downstairs.”

“Why did you?”

He’s moving closer, standing just before Diego, hands tucking into the pockets of his pajama pants. Head held high, chin tilted back, and a bead of water runs down his neck, over the mark. Diego’s staring at it, guilt still prominent in his head. “You really need me to say it?”

“Yeah I do. I just don’t understand why you cried if…” He can’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

Five’s shoulders relax, eyes running over his brother’s face. He can see how dark his eyes are, pupils blow wide and it’s just like before. The same look he saw when they’d been fighting, when he’d been perched atop him before that. All it takes is proximity, a brush against skin and the world seems to _fall away_. He doesn’t need to see his reflection to know his eyes are the same.

“We’re going to never catch that guy like this. Space will help.”

“Say it.” Diego is straightening his back, pushing himself up off the bed. A direct challenge and Five still needs to tilt his head back to look up at him.

“I’m not saying stop now.” It’s expected, anticipated and he feels like a drug addict, chasing after a high. “Is that enough?”

“No.”

Resolve slipping and Five feels like he’s losing his control.

“I liked it.” He has to close his eyes, steady himself for the way Diego gently brushes at his cheek. Fingers curl around the back of his neck, thumb against his jaw, angling his head and the rush is back. “I cried because it was so good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this thing three times because it wasn't /right/
> 
> also I have a tumblr that matches my name here, yell at me if you want
> 
> possibly slower updates because school + work are just harsh lately


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck on a cloud  
> Forget all the doubt  
> 

「 You’re setting me on fire  
I don’t want to fight it 」

It’s silent apart from the way the bed creaks beneath them, a small shift of weight and Five is seated atop Diego. He has his eyes shut, and the buttons of his sleep shirt undone, fabric hanging from his shoulders. Dark bruises cover his skin, a rainbow of colors that Diego is carefully avoiding, hand sliding up and resting against Five’s sternum. The flutter of a steady heartbeat, the warmth of skin and for a moment the room is still. His other hand moves to Five’s hip, fingers curling and pressing against the dark spots from earlier.

A slight stinging sensation and Five pulls his eyes open, stares down at Diego. The sense of being electrified, of having raw energy running through their veins is mutual, brought on by contact. It leaves a rush in the back of the head, bright and vibrant and Five knows he’s never felt something so consuming before. Diego seems to pick up on this, a hint of a smile forming, and he pushes up with his hips, knocking the other off balance. Five leans into the hand on his chest, reaches up and curls his fingers around Diego’s wrist.

Palms move over skin, fingers brushing against ribs and he leans back up, spine curving. Green eyes turn towards the ceiling and Diego takes the moment to run his fingers over a nipple. The sharp intake of air is expected, muted surprise. “You’re thinking too much.” His voice is low, the only light filtering in through the open window.

“I’m analyzing.” Comes the airy response, head tilting back down. “Just don’t understand why.”

“What’s wrong with enjoying it?”

“Other then the fact that I get high touching you?” Five’s leaning forward, his own hands pressing against his brother’s pecs, fingers spread against tan skin. The touch makes his head spin, stomach twist eagerly and he wants more. Diego’s hands slide back to his hips, onto his back and fingers trail over his spine. Light touches and unlike before the reaction is expected now, less of a shotgun explosion, is something that spreads out through the whole body.

Five presses his lips together, a stunted sound working its way up through his chest that he bites back down. There’s pressure against the small of his back, pushing them closer and it causes a sharp look to be directed at Diego. “Stop that.” The airy note to his voice is still there, is making it hard for him to add his usual bite.

“You’re the one thinking about it.”

“Thinking and doing are two different things.” He’s leaning back up, hands sliding down Diego’s chest, resting against his waist. “Fucking isn’t the answer.”

“Seems like it is to me.” Hands grip at his hips, and Five isn’t prepared for the push pull movement. Air catches in his chest, eyes squeezing shut. He digs his nails into Diego’s stomach, hips moving without meaning to. “…’s better, right?”

“No.” Five breathes out, eyes turning back up to the ceiling.

“Why can’t you just say what you’re thinking?”

“What – are you talking about?” Punched out words, breathy and the bed shifts, mattress creaking. Diego’s on his knees now, positions flipped as he tugs Five back up against him.

“I’m talking about this. I know what you’re thinking and you’re still saying the opposite.” He smooths his hands back up pale skin, leans forward to cover him. Barely a different angle and Five’s knees are in the air, feet planted against the bedding. His head doesn’t quite reach the pillow, a difference in height, from being pulled back up against Diego. The small of his back is against his brother’s knees and like this he’s less in control.

“Elaborate.”

“You’re contradicting yourself.” Hands slide back down, over his sides and thumbs dip under the waist band. Five squirms, twists on the bed as he works to push himself back up, onto his elbows. Somewhere outside a car alarm goes off, faint and it overshadows the way the bed groans.

“Stop it.” He’s pushing himself up, closer and Diego moves a hand to his sternum once more. Five’s pressed back against the bed, a small frustrated sound falling out from the force of it. He’s starting to shiver, barely there trembles as a hand hooks beneath his knee, spreading his legs even more.

“Why?” Diego’s calm sounding, almost amused and he moves to lay himself over Five. He’s met with a foot against his shoulder, heel moving towards his collarbone.

“Because I said no fucking.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” The amusement in his voice grates against Five’s nerves. He tries to push himself back up, the hand on his chest now curling around his ankle. A half second later and his knee is hooked over Diego’s shoulder, body pulled closer than they’d been before. His back’s curved to accommodate his brother’s knees, pajama top sliding off of his shoulders. It’s a dizzying position, an almost press of skin along the back of his thigh and it pulls another shiver out of him.

“Just say it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Hissed out words and Five has to take in a deep breath, has to close his eyes for a moment.

He jumps when Diego thumbs at his nipples again.

“Stop that.” Brows knit together, a frown pushed onto his face and he’s grabbing at his brother’s wrists, squeezing as hard as he can. They’re moved back down, hands placed against his ribs and for a moment Five feels like he can breathe again. The air in his room is thick, still like a humid night and he wants to open the window, get up and walk away from this.

Another shiver, and his hands drop back onto the bed.

Diego leans forward, weight shifting to his own knees, palm moving and pressing down against Five’s arousal. “You’re not going to be able to walk with this.” It’s a tease at his thoughts, at being situated so fully inside of his mind. “Just say it.”

The swooping sensation hits him again, hips pushing up against the hand and he grabs at the bedding. Slow grinding and just enough pressure have his lips falling open, a sound catching in his throat. Five’s vision swims, shocks of energy rushing through him and he curls his toes. Constant trembles now and he’s pressing, rutting back up against Diego’s hand.

“…Diego…”

“You going to stop contradicting yourself?”

A jerk of the head, teeth pressing into his lower lip and Diego’s leaning back, hands moving to rest against the clothed skin of Five’s legs. He’s breathing heavily, chest rising and falling as he works to try and remember how to breathe again. A few quick blinks, lashes fluttering and Five still can’t seem to focus. The room is twisting underneath him, a sense that he’s close to falling apart.

“To – Too much.” Arms lifted and he’s covering his eyes, sucks in another mouthful of air. “You’re such an asshole.”

Diego laughs, a quiet stunted sound. “You’re the one who’s over stimulated just from touching.” He lets Five’s leg fall from his shoulder, is leaning over him on the bed, weight resting on his hands. “Is it easier if you’re lying on top? Controlling it?”

“Yes – but I said no fucking.”

“We’re not.”

Five pulls his arms away from his face, dark glassy eyes staring up at his brother. There’s mild annoyance mixed with flushed skin and Diego is thinking about how he’d look with kiss swollen lips.

“No kissing either.” His eyes shift down, focus on Diego’s mouth, “…’s bad enough that we’re – ”

“Not fucking.”

His expression twists, confused and Diego is laying down atop him, a solid weight settling between his legs. It has the desired effect, a sudden short circuit of the mind as a huffed-out groan fills the space. Bare skin from the waist up pressed together and Five starts to shiver again, knees pulling up in a vain attempt at pressing them together. He succeeds in squeezing Diego’s hips, toes curling as his heels dig into the mattress.

“Better?”

A stunted movement, nod of the head, and Five is closing his eyes again, mouth open as he sucks in more air. His arms are curling around Diego, hands shaking as he tries to hang on. There’s a roll of hips, the sound of the blankets shifting and Five is quickly losing purchase. He digs his nails into skin, is pushing up into Diego as best he can. Raw nerves, the static roll of energy courses through him and for a second, he can’t see. Diego’s holding himself up, just barely keeping himself from crushing Five into the mattress. He pushes down again with his hips, a slow movement and Five is all to aware of the hard length pressed up against him.

“You know I could fuck you like this.” The words are spoken out too close to his ear, pull a choked off whine from his chest and Five drags his nails down Diego’s back in retaliation. He’s pushing up again, a steady push pull rhythm between them. “All slow ‘n deep.” Diego’s speaking against skin, nose trailing over Five’s jaw. He can feel his rapid pulse, resists the urge to press his lips there. “Just – like you’ve never had with Delores.”

Five’s hands are moving down to tan hips, fingers trailing over the waistband of jeans. The sharp bite of nails digging in has Diego moving slower, a lazy rut of his hips. He’s poking through his brother’s head, free access to past memories. “Always quick ‘n dirty when you came on her face.”

“Shut-up.” He’s twisting, head turning to try and look up at Diego. To close and their noses bump, humid air spilling out between them. “…’s what – she wanted.”

“Like how you wanna cum in your pants again?” Diego’s teeth are catching on his lower lip before anything else can be said. Five’s legs move, thighs squeezing against hips a moment before wrapping around him. His stomach flips at the feeling, hand reaching up to pull at Diego’s hair. A Sharp tug as he drags his head to the side, teeth finally letting go of his lip. His elbow purposefully hits at Diego’s arm, the one holding him up, knocking it to the side. The full weight pressing him to the mattress is satisfying, a pleased sound spilling out.

To loud, Diego’s hand is covering his mouth a second later.

The bed creaks, his hips pushing harder, and Five’s head is pressed up into the pillow, bunching it above them. He tugs at long strands of hair, legs moving over Diego’s back, heel pressing down. There’s lips coming back to his neck, pressing, sliding up towards his ear again. Five’s pulling at the hand coving his mouth, bed frame creaking, lips dragging against fingers. “C-close.” It’s whimpered, a broken sound with his brows knitting together, concentrating. Diego’s licking at his ear, teeth pressing into the lobe, it’s there in the back of his own head, a ricochet of raw energy, desire and want bubbling to the surface.

Five’s head turns, pressed up into the pillow and his mouth hangs open. He’s blinking again, cock throbbing, spilling out into his pants again. The sound that threatens to work its way up and out of his chest is muffled, lips pressing together. They’re kissing and Diego is licking into his mouth, the wet slide of his tongue lewd and Five is pressing up into it. He’s twitching below him, small aftershocks as his head spins, static pops of energy only they can feel.

There’s a door opening up down the hall, distant steps leading away.

Five moans fully into Diego’s lips, continues to rut back up into him until their high starts to dissipate, until he’s settling back into his skin. He’s left with a tingling in his pelvis, a warm afterglow that’s only increased by the way he’s still being kissed. Tongue sliding against his own, over his bottom lip and it’s more intimate feeling then anything they’ve done so far.

There’s something about the silence of the house that pulls him awake, hours upon hours later. The lack of distant movement, of floorboards creaking under the morning sun as the building settles into the day. Five is careful as he pulls himself from Diego, as he moves around the room to get dressed. Another uniform left over from his siblings and he reminds himself to set aside time to get some new clothes. Out in the hall he’s slipping on scuffed up oxfords, palm rubbing over the marks to try and buff them out. There’s a familiar schoofpt sound, one that’s more obnoxious than anything else, a sound he never wants to hear again.

Five adjusts the sweater vest, his tie around his neck as he presses lightly against the brick wall hidden beneath faded wallpaper. It pops open like a trapdoor, a metal tube inside. The note’s pulled out, a half sheet of yellow tinged paper. The metal tubes returned, door clicked back into place and it’s like nothing out of the ordinary happened.

_Coffee and Donuts at 9_

_Wear the shorts_

The papers crumbled up, knuckle white grip and the sound of it is loud in the silent hall. He shoves it into his pocket, makes his way downstairs and into the foyer. Morning light streams in through the windows in the living room, the couches pushed back into place, as if the scuffle never happened. Grace is humming to herself as she dusts off a bookshelf. Her movements elegant, easy flicks of the wrist with the feather duster and Five lingers too long, attention brought towards him.

“Good morning dear.” She smiles bright like the sun filtering through the high windows “It’s almost time for your last bit of medicine, would you like it now with some breakfast?”

“I’m going out.”

There’s hesitance, as if she wants to say something and yet it never comes. Grace turns back towards the bookshelf. “Come find me when you’re ready.” Five steps to the side, slow movements to see if anything else is said. He makes it four steps towards the door when he hears her move into the foyer, “If you used your powers, please say something. Pogo will need to examine your metabolic structure.”

Five’s pausing, looking back at the blonde android, fake smile forming on his lips. “Don’t worry, I haven’t done anything.”

Outside he finds Klaus sitting on the front steps behind the gate, as if it were the most natural thing for him that early in the day. It’s enough of an oddity to cause him to stop, to remember the time he tried to sneak out on the fire escape. It’s the main reason he uses the front door now.

“I’d ask for a ride, but the car is missing.”

“It’s…” Five pauses, tries to figure out how far back he’d taken Diego and himself. “At Diego’s place.”

Klaus makes a sound, fingers curled around an unlit cigarette.

“I’ll bring it back later; you won’t be late.” He pushes on the metal gate, listens to it creak as he steps out onto the sidewalk. Klaus moves the cigarette to his lips, lets it hang there as he closes his eyes.

“I’m not worried about that.”

“Someone needs to be.”

He can see the hint of a smile form, tired. The gates shut, latch clicking into place as a car drives past. The sky’s clouded above, orange grey clouds forming in the distance. The sun looks brighter than it should, casts a warm glow wherever it still touches. Five turns, starts to walk down the street when Klaus calls him back.

“I wouldn’t go too far, hop through time or anything like that.”

“What?” Wind rips down the street, just enough to kick up dirt and sand into the air, to rustle his hair.

“It might do something to Diego.”

Five’s walking back towards the gate, confusion showing on his face. Klaus pulls the cigarette from his lips again, offers up a knowing smile.

“You’re tethered, I see it like I see the dead. ‘mmm - think it’s probably the whole soul thing, ya’know?”

“What are you talking about?” Five’s hands rest against the metal gate as he watches his brother move the cigarette back to his mouth. Klaus leans down, picks up seemingly nothing off the stairs, hand curled around an unseen object.

“Feel it?” He asks and Five tilts his head, expression shifting to mild annoyance.

“Are you on something again?” He doesn’t have time for this, is turning to leave when Klaus pulls his wrist back, a sharp tug.

Five nearly trips over his own feet at the sudden ache in his chest.

“Your soul is stuck to Diego’s.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooh baby, wind up  
> Like I'm a toy, you kill my joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> belated weekly update as I went to universal studios for the weekend :)

「 I can see the embers  
They’re glowing in your eyes 」

The bell above the door chimes as Five steps into Griddy’s. Outside the sky’s turning a deep gray tinged with orange, a warm glow that’s near opposite of the storm rolling in. It’s still early in the day, just late enough for the morning commuters to have come and gone, a lull left in their wake. Off to the side sits an all to familiar blonde woman, pin curled hair and a clip that’s to ornate to be tasteful. Five doesn’t hesitate to slide into the seat across from her, worn vinyl catching on the back of his knees. Agnes doesn’t take more then a minute to drop off another cup of coffee, is walking away before anything else can be said. Five still thinks she recognizes him from that first night, yet nothing has been said since.

“You got that one trained well.”

“I just come here to often.” Five eyes the barely touched donut sitting on a plate, powder sugar and to much of a mess. “Cheapest coffee in the area.”

“Cheap doesn’t mean it’s good.” The woman leans forward, an arm resting on the table. She has a cup of coffee sitting in front of her, too pale in comparison to his own. Cream and likely a pound of sugar.

“If it keeps me up then it’s good.” Five curls his fingers around the mug, warmth sitting just the side of too hot. There’s a quiet space in the distant part of his mind, a reminder that Diego is still asleep, that he’s working on borrowed time.

“I see someone is getting you up.” Red painted nails reach across the table and poke at his neck. “Looks like you’re having fun in this new adult body.”

Five pushes her hand away, leans farther back into the seat. “What did you want to talk about?” The mug is lifted, a slow slip of the drink before setting it back down. He watches the Handler’s expression shift, a roll of the eyes as she taps at her own drink absently. She clearly wanted to talk more about the mark on his neck, the differences in his appearance.

“All work and no play, I liked that about you before but now it’s just a bore.” Her eyes turn towards the donut she’d nipped at, “Why don’t you have a donut? It’s on me.”

“Too much sugar.”

“Afraid it might give you the shakes?” She smiles, knowing and Five ignores the comment, takes another sip of his own drink.

“Talk or I’m leaving.”

“I was reviewing the case file on you and the Doll Collector. I think we could reach an agreement.” A low gust of wind rolls through the parking lot, stirring up discarded napkins and paper wrappers from straws, sand and dirt that had otherwise been ignored. Five watches the rain start to fall, heavy drops hitting the pavement. Within a minute sky was gray, orange tint of the sun gone.

“How so?” He already has an idea of what’s going to be asked.

“I need you to come back to headquarters with me for a bit. Read over the files. We both know you’re handy with the pen.” There’s a curve to the blonde’s lips as she says it, to obvious an innuendo. “Besides you might be able to see another way to get the same outcome I desire.”

“I couldn’t care less about your desires.” Five takes a sip of his drink, can feel Diego stirring in his head. He pushes back, a low hum to try and coax the man back to sleep, to keep him from waking up in the middle of the conversation. None of his siblings would understand why he kept agreeing to meet with the Handler. He barely understood it himself.

“Can’t.” A glance towards Agnes, at the fresh made donuts on display. A bit of sugar wouldn’t hurt, it wasn’t like he was _supposed_ to be using his powers, nor was he going anywhere with the rain outside.

“Do you have plans? Because from what I heard you were out at the old warehouse.”

“Attack my family again and I’ll gut you like a fish.”

“There he is, the feisty little thing I know.”

Five raises his hand, gives a small wave to Agnes. Instinctively the woman grabs the coffee pot, moves over to refill his cup. “Cake donut please.” A smile is offered up, saccharine and fake and the moment the woman is gone the Handler is grinning. Red lips stretched wide in a toothy grin, sheer amusement showing in her eyes.

“Oh my, you really are enjoying yourself now. Pray tell, why the change?” She lifts her drink, a small sip and the cup stays in her hand, elbow against the table. “Or is it from the fun little mark on your neck?”

“What is your goal in all of this?” Five keeps his back straight, doesn’t want to lean into the blonde’s space anymore then he needs to. She was already a touchy person, had a habit of brushing fingers against his shoulders, light touches to his cheek, all things he actively ignored. “Why keep the Collector around?” Clarification and he hopes she doesn’t continue talking about frivolous topics.

“Tit for tat Mr. Five.” The mug is set back onto the table, painted nails moving over to pull a piece off of the powdered sugar donut. “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” The piece is tossed into the Handler’s mouth, lips quirked up into a grin.

Agnes sets another plate on the table with a golden-brown donut, steps away all to quickly. Outside the rain splatters against the window, a steady down pour that fills the quiet space of the donut shop. The fluorescent lights above them hum loudly, a barely there sound against the hum from outside.

“What is it you want?” Belatedly Five thinks he’s already lost this round. The letter was too perfectly timed, the weather holding off just long enough for his walk there, the quiet empty space inside of the building.

“Why you of course, but you already know that one.”

His grip tightens on the coffee, fingers relaxing a moment later as he works to calm himself. The Handler’s being evasive, distinct words and the more questions he asks the more her amusement shows. Five already knows he’s missed something important, a small loss against a larger battle. He busies himself with taking a sip of coffee, the liquid a touch to hot and just shy of burning his tongue. It’s a sensation he likes, the feeling of hot food and drink, a remnant of too many years with no electricity or power.

“No, really what is it that you want? In exchange for information.” The cup is placed back on the table, eyes turned towards the donut set beside him. Five feels caged, a low hum of panic in his chest, of either leaving the building to get soaked or sit there with the woman who’s tried to kill him on too many occasions. Dishes clink in the background, Agnes cleaning up the vacant seats of customers who left some time ago. It’s enough of a noise to draw Five’s attention, to pull his mind elsewhere and he belatedly feel Diego pushing into his head.

Curiosity and worry at his absence, at _knowing_ he’s not in the same building.

Five has to close his eyes to shove the other from his mind, brows pushing together in slight annoyance. A mental _not now dipshit_ is sent Diego’s way, mental blockades coming up, a sudden stream of math equations to complex for anyone other than physicist to understand.

“You really did bind yourself to - ”

“Don’t say it.” Green eyes open, slide towards the blonde woman as she sets her own drink down. She pokes at her own donut once more, hand moving to slide the other plate closer to Five. The dish taps against his coffee mug, the light sound of porcelain against porcelain filling the space. Diversion at it’s best and Five vaguely wonders how she can read him so well, how she knows he’s mentally distracted. The vinyl below him creaks, dips beside him as a body slides into the seat with him. Tan arm moving over the back rest and he catches himself the moment his instinct says run.

Kohl lined eyes and a wide toothy grin, chopped dark hair that looks like a pair of kitchen sheers were used on it hang loosely at the woman’s chin. “Hey baby boy, it’s been forever. Giving Diego all the attention he needs?”

Five holds his ground as Lila leans into him, a full press against his side.

“Mum you didn’t tell me he grew.”

“Does that matter?”

There’s fingers creeping into his hair, over the nap of his neck and it makes his skin prickle. He reaches up, pinches Lila’s hand to get it away from him, touchy just as her mother. “Touch me again and the fork is going through your hand.”

“What if I like it?” She’s in his space again, to close and anger burns low in his gut, a distinct hatred over their past encounters.

“Lila, dear you can play later, you’ve got work to do.”

The pressure in the back of his head is nearly overbearing, is likely going to induce a migraine if it keeps up. The ground beneath his shoes is wet, puddles formed in the dips of concrete and the air smells clean, fresh in a way he can’t properly explain. Lila’s walking in front of him, ankle high rainboots and a mini backpack hanging from her shoulders. She looks like she came from the nineties, bucket hat with a too short dress, and for all Five knows that’s where she’s been staying. “I don’t understand why I’m here.” He’s saying it to be an annoyance, hands tucked into his pockets.

In the alley, just off to the side of an elaborate hotel, the front doors polished and clean, and Five feels anything but civil at the moment.

Lila is turning back around, moves to slide her arm around his shoulders. “Because you’re helping me distract.” She touches at his hair again, too close to his ear and it makes his stomach burn.

“Distract for what?” Five reaches up and pinches at skin, nails digging in a bit more than necessary. Diego is back again, prodding at his mind, questioning the sudden flare of anger and it does nothing but annoy him further. “I’m leaving if you don’t give me a proper answer.” He doesn’t even know why he’s there, why he went to see the Handler in the first place. Nothing good ever came of their encounters, even when he’d got the better of her. She kept coming back, reappearing in his life regardless of what he did.

“Caught up in that head of yours again?” Lila’s hand brushes over the back of his neck and she moves out of the way before he can hit her again.

“I’m leaving.” Five turns to walk away when he’s shoved back against the wall of the alley, polished nails digging into his chest. The air starts to take on a metallic scent, more rain looming above them. Dark clouds in the sky, overcast and the city is dim from it.

“Not until we’re done.” Her playful demeaner is slipping, annoyance showing on her face and it pulls a smile from him.

“What are we doing?” Five doesn’t push her away. “Things work best if both parties are informed of the desired outcome.”

“God you are arrogant, how does someone even get like that?” Another push against him and Lila’s pulling back turning towards the hotel. Her arms move above her head as she stretches, pulls at the hem of her dress. The fabric pulls up, skims the top of her thighs and Five watches with mild interest. “Whatever, fine, no surprise for you.” Her arms drop and she turns back towards him, a face splitting grin forming. “What? Like what you see?”

“Contemplating what it was that Diego saw in you.”

“Liar.”

“You were saying?” Five tilts his head, lets his fake smile form as he leans in. “What kind of surprise did you have for me?” He’s pushed back against the wall, blazer growing damp from the bricks. Fingers trail over his neck to his chin, abruptly turning his line of sight back towards the front of the hotel. A raindrop hits the tip of his nose, small but present.

“Baby _boy_ we’re watching the front doors. A collector of sorts is going to come passing by.” She leans back into his space, the same height as him and Five is paying her little attention. He’s watching the doors now, the people coming and going from the hotel. A small sophisticated group, women in heels and men in suits, coats pulled up and umbrellas popping open. It’s starting to rain, small drops hitting the already damp ground.

“Which one?” He asks, is dimly aware of Diego’s presence growing in the back of his mind. A more prominent sensation, the feeling of being less isolated. Five’s too focused to realize what it means, to pick up on the fact that Diego’s coming to find him.

“Not yet.” Lila’s hands move down, curl around his waist and under the blazer, feeling the fabric of his sweater vest. She reminds him of a cat, pawing for attention as he lightly nudges her back. “I finally understand why mum just loves this uniform of yours. All grown up and you still haven’t changed, but I won’t kink shame you.”

“Which one?” His attention flicks back towards her and she rolls her eyes at his lack of response. Fingers move up, against his jaw and Lila is pushing his head back towards the hotel.

“Count with me, Five… Four…. Three…” She ticks off as people trickle out of the hotel, some getting into a taxi waiting while others move down the street.

“Did you hit your head as a child?” His hands move up, pushing at her shoulders to create some space between them. There’s warmth trickling in down his spine, a vague sense of being close to whole again filling his chest. He knows that he’ll need to think about it later, analyze what it might mean, if it has anything to do with the quarter donut he ate. Sugar mixed with caffeine always messed with his abilities.

“Two….” Lila pushes back, her own hand gripping his wrist and pulling it to the side. She’s pressing up against him like she did at Griddy’s, an invasion of his space and it splits his focus. To concentrated on the people passing by the hotel to notice the warm bubble that fills him, that has his face flushing just the slightest. “Oh – one!” A taxi pulls up to the hotel and a man climbs out, black hat, black coat and a scarf around his neck. Leather gloves and pale skin –

An all to familiar car comes to an abrupt stop, pulling off into the no parking zone beside the alley. Klaus is sitting in the passenger seat and Five’s attention is shifting towards Diego as he pushes the driver’s side door open.

“Oooh what a development, you should have told me he was on his way!” Lila pulls at his chin again, directing green eyes back towards her. “Experiment time, if I kiss you will he feel it?”

“You’re worse than your mom.” Five pushes back against her, realizes all to late that she’d been the distraction the whole time, some bizarre experiment being set up for an outcome he can’t quite grasp. The grip on his wrist tightens, nails digging into the barely healed bruises from the day before. Pain shoots down his spin, a familiar sensation mixed in with a press of lips against his own. It’s distinctly different from the way Diego had kissed him, is all force mixed with teeth digging into his lower lip.

He makes a disgruntled sound, white hot anger flaring up in his head as he shoves at Lila with as much force as he can muster. She shoves him back, too hard, to strong, and belatedly Five wonders if she’s encountered Luther in the past few days with the amount of force she had. His head cracks against the concrete, annoyance and confusion being pushed out, directed at Diego.

Teeth scrape over the shell of his ear. “Positive result.” Lila hums, pressing another kiss to his cheek.

“What are you doing?” Diego sounds confused and breathless in the same way Five feels. There’re stars dancing behind his eyes, dizzying and the world swims around him. He’s being held up by Lila and the wall, free hand moving up to try and feel at the back of his head.

“Giving Five here a fist hand look at your serial killer. Being generous, ya’know.” She lets go of Five’s wrist, arms moving around his waist, pushing him towards the car. He stumbles, one foot hitting the ground awkwardly and the world twists before his eyes. “Chop chop, we got things to do.” Lila calls as she tugs the back door open, climbing in after five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl I'm kind of digging the idea of Diego/Lila/Five, it won't be in this but just in general
> 
> Also contemplating some ABO Diego/Five when I finish this


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You could dig your nails into my skin and you won't stop me

「 We’re not good for each other  
We’re chemically unstable 」

The back of his head is _throbbing,_ a sharp pain that makes it hard to focus. Five knows that Diego can feel it, a residual ache bouncing back inside of his head, an echo of sorts. He’s gently touching at the tender spot on his skull as the car pulls back onto the street. Lila’s still too close, pressed up beside him in the back seat and if it weren’t for the spots in his vision, he’d have pushed her away. Klaus turns back to look back at them from the front, smeared eyeliner and curious eyes. He opens his mouth to say something but seems to think better on it, eyes sliding over Lila for a brief moment.

She grins at him, legs crossed as she slings an arm over Five’s shoulders.

“Can you – not?” Diego speaks up, the sound of the windshield wipers dragging over the glass filling in the space between his words.

“To much? Thought you’d like the whole ghostly touches.” She wiggles her fingers at him, playful and teasing.

“Ever think about how _he_ feels?”

Five makes a small noise, something between annoyed and pained, green eyes sliding up to the back of Diego’s head. Words sit on his tongue, stuck to his teeth and he can’t seem to open his mouth. Some mix of an apology, of an explanation that is otherwise not needed. Justification over actions that he can’t control. There’s a balloon of emotions sitting in the far reaches of his mind, distant and not his own. They make little sense, the small glimpses he allows himself are confusing at best.

Too many years spent alone and Five has long forgotten how to empathize.

“I’m fine.” He grits out, inching himself over in his seat, closer to the door. Lila’s hand slides over the back of his neck, fingers touching dark strands of hair. Her eyes are on Diego as she does it, watches as he reaches back and touches his own neck. A reflexive action, amusement showing in her eyes.

“What are you doing here?” It’s Klaus who asks, an exhausted note to his voice as he leans heavily against his seat. Rain splatters at the windshield, against the roof of the car and it’s loud in the small space. “You said - ”

“I know what I said. Gotta show baby boy around to where the bodies were dropped.”

Annoyance burns in Five’s gut, bounces around in his head and his eyes fall shut for a moment. He’s drained, too much energy spent dealing with Lila and her mother, on conversations that continue on in endless circles. It feels like he’s lost something by having Lila there with him, like there’s something bigger going on. Her last appearance came with ulterior motives and he doesn’t see why there wouldn’t be any this time around either. She annoyed him then and she’ll continue to annoy him now.

Not any different from the rest of the family.

“You’re dropping me off before then?” Klaus is turning back towards Diego, eyes a bit too wide and Five knows there’s distress lurking beneath the surface and yet he doesn’t think he’s ever noticed it before.

“We’re almost there already.” Diego slows the car to a stop as they come to a red light, glances towards the back seat. Five’s sitting behind him, against the door and Lila is in the middle. She smiles and links her arm with his, keeps her eyes on Diego.

Five unloops his arm, brows pulling together in annoyance. “What are you playing at?”

“What makes you think that?” She leans closer, lifts her leg and lays it over his.

“Just get off, you’re a hundred times worse then - ”

“My mum?” A hand presses against his chest, fingers tugging at fabric and the car starts to pull forward.

“Uh – guys…” Klaus tries from the front seat, eyes flicking between the two and Diego.

Five gives another push to Lila, one that has enough force to shove her a few inches back. It dislodges her leg from his, pulls at the fabric of his sweater vest before she lets go. Irritation flashes in her eyes, lips stretching into a wide smile. It’s a sardonic expression, one that Five knows all to well and it pulls at something inside him. A challenge –

“What’s your game crazy lady?” Hissed out words and his lip curls up, body turning towards her.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Lila’s leaning back in, fingers moving towards his neck. Her hand’s grabbed, nails digging into her palm as Five twists it back, away from himself.

“Stop touching me.” Jaw tight and he’s gritting his teeth, keeping his voice as neutral as possible.

“You clearly wanted _someone_ to, I mean – look at it.” A push against the floorboard and she’s sliding across the seat. Lila’s knees bump against his, her free hand moving back to his chest, pressing against his sternum, pressing him against the door.

“…oh no…” Klaus mutters, hands moving to press against his eyes.

“Lila! Five STOP IT!” Diego’s grip on the steering wheel tightens, knuckle white as he quickly glances back.

“The FUCK are you talking about?” Five snaps, stomach twisting uncomfortably. He feels like a lead weight has dropped into it, a nauseated sense washing over him. “You should have been left in the asylum.”

“Like you’re one to talk.” Lila shoves, pressing harder against his chest, “I mean – _everyone_ can see it.”

“You’re making no sense.” He’s pushing back, knee coming up and creating more distance. It’s enough to push her back a few inches, to pull a laugh from her lips. Rain hits against the roof of the car, the windshield wipers dragging against the glass.

Lila jerks forward, hands grabbing at anywhere and everywhere she can. Nails dig into skin and Five is shoving her back, knee coming back up to try and create more space. She grabs at his leg, pulling, angry red lines appearing against pale skin. Five launches himself up, feet catching against the seat, the floorboard and he pins Lila to the seat, a hand around her neck, squeezing.

A bright and choked out sound fills the car, is mixed with Diego’s shout as he tries to look back at them.

A spark of light and Five’s falling onto the seat cushion, arms twisting up beneath him. Lila’s behind him, pressing against his low back until she can sit on him. “Gotcha bitch.” She’s pulling at his hair, pressing against the tender part of his skull. Lights spark behind his eyes again and he twists, pushing up against her weight.

“Na – uh, _baby_ , momma here says no.” Lila pulls at his blazer, at the neck of his shirt and tie, exposing more skin. “There we go, I just wanted a look.”

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME.”

“Why don’t you use your powers? Hunh? Afraid I’ll tag along with and we’ll become a threesome?” The car jerks, is pulling off the road and bumping against the side walk as Diego pulls them into a parking lot. The movement knocks Lila off balance, gives Five enough of a chance to turn around. He flips their positions, presses her into the seats, seated atop her. A fist pulls back, ready to punch as the car comes to a jerky stop, pulled into park.

Lila pushes up with her core, her hips, shoving Five forward towards the window. His hands move to catch himself, to keep him from hitting his head again. Another spark of light, a soft popping sound and she’s behind him again, hand in his hair, the other pulling at his tie. Breathing heavily, he twists despite the sharp pull at his skull, “Fucking piece of shit.”

“Stop taking what’s mine.” Lila hisses.

Diego opens the door, climbing out of the car.

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” A broken shout and the pull at his neck from his tie is starting to cut off his air, adds a wheezing tone to his voice. Lila pulls at his hair again, curving his spine and twisting the angle of his head.

“What’s it like fucking your brother? Hmmm? And you called me crazy.”

The passenger door is pulled open behind them, Lila’s body being dragged from the car. Five drops onto the seat, is twisting at the sound of rain, the car still rumbling lightly. He turns in time to see Diego slap Lila on the face, hard enough to knock her back a step. A shuttering breath in, lungs expanding in his chest and panic starts to spread out. He misses what the two are saying, can’t hear over the ringing in his own ears.

Green eyes turn towards Klaus just long enough to make contact.

He’s gone in a flash of blue, a familiar sensation of spatial movement enveloping him.

When he reappears, the world is twisting around him, black spots in his vision. Five stumbles, off balance as he nearly falls into a brick wall. Rain pelts his skin with pinpricks of cold water, and he has to place his hand against the wall to keep his balance. The pads of his fingers pressing into coarse brick, knees weak as nausea crawls up his back. The weight in his chest bubbles up, acid in the back of his throat. Five leans forward and heaves, stomach pushing out all the coffee and sticky globs of the donut he ate earlier.

A gross mess against concrete and if it weren’t for the rain the scent of vomit would be permeating the air. He sucks in a shuttering breath, vision swimming as he tries to focus, wipes at his mouth with his sleeve. Five turns, back pressing up against the wall and he has to look up at the sky. The tall buildings of the alley spin around him, equilibrium shot. It’s a sensation akin to coming down from being utterly shit faced, of drinking too much and it’s debilitating.

It doesn’t stop him from jumping again and again and again until he’s just outside of a building he’s only been to a handful of times. Five is soaked, hair matted against his forehead when he pushes the front door open. Sluggish steps and a trail of water dripping from his clothes follows him upstairs to an apartment he would otherwise jump right into. It wasn’t like Vanya locked her windows or anything. He reaches up, a lazy knock against wood and his arm feels heavy.

More spots in his vision and he sucks in a mouthful of air, blinks back against the splotches. Beneath him the world shifts, his forehead hitting against wood harder than his fist. Distantly he hears something said, a shuffle of steps coming as the door pops open. Five nearly falls forward, calloused hands coming up and catching him.

“Oh my god – _Five_?!” She’s pushing back at him to keep him upright. “What are you…?” Vanya’s looking down at the growing puddle beneath him, eyes flicking back up to his hair.

“I’m going to be sick.” He’s drifting past her, hand braced against the wall as he navigates the small apartment. A few visits in the past and he knows the layout, knows it well enough to not need any kind of direction. The front door is pushed shut, lock clicked into place and Vanya can hear him in the bathroom. A thump against the floor as he heaves into the toilet, bile and more spit and little else.

“Five what happened?” Vanya hovers in the doorway, expression twisting between shocked and concern. She’s still struggling to get used to having her family back in her life, bits and pieces of memories still scattered about.

“I made a mistake.” Five’s voice echoes up from the toilet. “I can’t talk to Diego right, and I went and saw the Handler again…” Light steps and Vanya takes a small towel from the sink, kneels down beside him. A gentle hand is placed on his shoulder as she tugs, moves him to lean against the bathtub. “I lied to mom about not using my powers so I can age.” Vanya gently wipes around his mouth, expression soft and caring. “And Lila is back.”

Wet bangs are pushed aside, and she lowers the towel, socks growing damp from the wet spots on the tile. “Do you want to hide here for a bit and talk about it?”

He’s reminded of when they were kids, of how Vanya always tried to look after everyone despite being ignored. She’d come to his room late at night with bandages, would make her rounds even when Diego or Allison shut the door in her face. Distantly he can feel Diego trying to pry into his mind, poking and prodding in an attempt to understand what happened. It pulls at him, a sharp prickling sensation behind his eyes. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“I can make some coffee.”

“I’d rather have liquor.”

Lips press together and Vanya tries to keep her concern from her face. It doesn’t work and Five looks towards the ceiling, at the splotches of discoloration that can only come from age. The lights above the sink hum and one of the bulbs is burnt out, charred on the inside. Vanya stands, eyes drifting over the toilet before flushing it. She drops the towel on the counter, “Only if you have lunch with me.”

Five hums in response, eyes falling shut for a brief moment. He sits there too long, mind slipping as the next thing he registers is hands tugging him up right, a tight grip on his forearm. “You’re going to get sick if you stay in this.” There’s a small stack of clothes sitting on the sink, neatly folded and muted colors. He doesn’t remember her leaving the room, the sound of her steps on the floor in the apartment. The space is loud and silent all at the same time. Ambient sounds from the road outside, from the neighbors all around and yet a distinct quiet that comes with sitting alone in a room.

“You’re a bit taller now but these should still fit.” Vanya keeps her grip on his arms, eyes watching the way he stands, how he starts to lean to the side, foot sliding to keep balance. He can see that she wants to ask, curiosity and concern mixing together. It’s almost expected at this point and yet the questions never come. No prying or carefully constructed sentences, no brief looks or ulterior motives.

“Yeah, okay… I’ll have whatever you’re getting.”

Vanya smiles, a small quirk of the lips. “Feel free to use any of the towels on your hair.” She lets go, hands hovering for a moment longer before pulling away entirely. “Just toss the clothes in the tub and I’ll wash them later.”

Five’s left in the room by himself, the light sound of her steps moving away, the hum of the lights filling in the space.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know he shot her in the head and all (comic) but I really like the idea of Five and Vanya being close


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cause I'm somewhere  
> In between I hate you and I'm sorry  
> In between I want you and don't call me

「 Can’t we just talk  
I’ll lay it all out on the table 」

Vanya’s kitchen table is small, fit for two people and no more. Her apartment is a drastic change from the vast space of the mansion, the elaborate halls that wind around the building. It’s cozy, comfortable even and Five doesn’t know how to handle that. He’s spent too much time without a real _home,_ spent years moving from place to place, hotel to hotel with Temps. The space he resides in back at the academy was nothing more then just a room with old trinkets and toys that meant very little to him. Seeing the furniture and cups, the small items strewn about only solidified the realization that Five had never let himself get comfortable.

“You’re thinking too much.” Vanya’s seated across from him, crumbs on her plate from the grilled cheese she’d made, a glass of water set to the side. “I can see it on your face.”

He’s staring down at his own plate, at the way she’d cut his sandwich into four, how the cheese had oozed out in the middle. Five’s only taken three bites, can still feel a heavy weight in his gut. An inability to relax, to let go for even a moment and he’s looking across the table.

“How?”

“How?” Vanya echo’s, a slight frown forming.

“How can you tell I’m thinking to much.” Mild irritation and he leans back in the wooden chair, arms crossing over his chest. Defensive gestures yet he doesn’t know what else to do with his hands. His usual response is to place them in the pockets of his shorts, a natural self-protective response, a way of closing the conversation off without teleporting from the room. The sweatpants Vanya had given him are lose but free of pockets, have a drawstring on the front, the shirt too large and it hangs from his shoulders much the same it does on her.

“Well, that for one,” She gestures towards his arms, “And it’s your expression, you get… you look like you’re somewhere else.” Her eyes travel to his plate, at the barely touched food. “You should eat more. It might be why…”

“It’s not why.” Five picks up a small triangle of the grilled cheese and takes a bite. “I can’t use my powers without having side effects.”

“That include fainting and vomiting?” Vanya’s frowning a bit more, concern showing in her eyes and it grates against his nerves.

“I’m not going to regret it.”

“Was it worth it?” She watches him drop the sandwich again, is expecting him to get up and walk away from the small table. “I just, if you say yes then I’ll drop it.”

Five shifts, eyes pointed at the plate once more, doesn’t say anything else.

It pulls a dejected sigh from his sister, her hand moving to rest on the table. He knows she wants to reach over, to offer some kind of comfort, knows that it won’t really do anything. What he needs is something that he can’t put into words or even grasp, and he loathes himself for knowing that Diego would understand.

Diego whose sitting at the edge of his mind, patient and not pushing for once.

“Can I ask you something?” Five taps at the plate, blunt nails against porcelain. Outside it’s still raining, the sky grey and dark, weather that he used to sleep in. The few animals that survived the apocalypse never scavenged or hunted when it rained. It meant he could get some genuine sleep.

“Of course.” Vanya pulls her hand back and Five stalls, eyes focused on the place where it just was.

“Did Luther and Allison ever bother you?” There’s a distinctive lull in the conversation, a lack of response and Five can hear the faint sound of the washer running in the backroom. A low hum and the sound of water sloshing his clothes around, mixing in with the rain outside.

“I’m not sure what you’re asking.” A twist of the lips, expression held in place, purposely stiff.

Five pushes his brows together in mild irritation at Vanya’s response. He leans forward and rests his elbows against the table, rubs at his eyes. Exhaustion still clings to him, a day that never seems to end and he doesn’t know what else to say, how else to pick his words. “Their sneaking out together, into each other’s rooms, that stuff.”

“You mean when they dated.”

“They what?” A foreign concept and Five leans heavily against the table, head propped up by one hand.

“Dated, at least that’s what the rest of us thought of it as. I don’t think it was ever said because of how they got yelled at for sneaking out.” Vanya offers a reassuring smile, “We grew up together, but we were never allowed to interact with anyone else. Crushes came and went.” The chair scrapes against the floor as she stands up, moving her plate to the sink. “I liked Diego for a time, after you disappeared, we had a small thing, but it’s _Diego_ and you can imagine how that went.”

“I don’t understand.”

The sink turns on and Vanya washes her plate before answering, sets it on the drying rack. “You should finish eating.” An abrupt change in topic and it does nothing but create more confusion. “Besides, that was when we were kids, before I met Sissy and realized what real love and affection was.”

“I don’t understand.” Five still hasn’t finished his food, is watching his sister with genuine interest. “Vanya, just - ”

“Just what?” She keeps her back to him, reaches for the pan sitting on the stove, cooled down enough to wash. “Don’t compare us to the rest of the world. If you saw Luther and Allison together just let them be happy.”

“No, I was asking for myself.”

The sink continues to run but Vanya doesn’t place the pan under it.

When Five wakes up, it’s hours later and the sun is setting. He’s curled up on his side, facing the back of the couch and he doesn’t remember falling asleep. Vanya’s sitting in the chair near by and he only knows this from the light movement, the sound of a book being shut and the cushions moving. “It’s still raining.” She says as a way of greeting, a soft thump the book being set on the coffee table. “You can sleep more, or I can make coffee.”

Five thinks she sounds tired herself, wonders if she sat awake because he’d fallen asleep.

“Coffee.” He says but doesn’t move, head still resting against a cushion. There’s a blanket laid over him, and he’s distinctly reminded of when they were kids. Vanya sitting in the same room, a comfortable silence where neither spoke, never oppressive or tense. He listens to her stand, to the quiet steps as she heads back into the kitchen. It doesn’t take long for the scent of fresh brewed coffee to fill the apartment, for the quiet drip of the coffee pot to add to the silence.

“I ironed your clothes.” Vanya pulls two mugs down from the cabinet, “They’re hanging up in the bathroom.” The couch shifts and Five is pushing himself up right, fingers combing through his hair, pushing it down in places it’s sticking up.

“They’re not mine.” He says, voice just a bit on the rough side, his mind still waking up.

“Diego’s.” There’s a hint of amusement in her voice and Five think’s there’s a smile to go along with it. He doesn’t turn to look. “The tag on it says Diego’s.”

A low groan, disappointed, follows after and Vanya lets out a small laugh.

“I need to gain weight or something.” Five pushes the blanket aside, stands up and moves towards the kitchen.

“You’re fine, you don’t need to match Luther’s height.”

“Pretty sure he stole that from me before birth.” He stops just shy of the counter, doesn’t move any closer, doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“You got all of the intelligence though.” Vanya hands him an empty cup, is waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.

“A lot of good that did me. Ignorance is bliss and I’m not feeling very enlightened lately.” He looks down at the empty mug, at the lack of design or fancy exterior. “Maybe I’m more ignorant then I thought.”

“You are, but we all have our faults.” Casual, matter of fact, and Vanya opens the fridge to pull out a milk carton. “No one is perfect, you just need to learn to deal with the imperfections. Our family has them in spades.”

Five watches as she pours a small splash into the cup, pauses before adding a bit more. “When did you get so philosophical?” He moves to lean against the counter.

“I was shot in the head. Gives you some perspective.” There’s a hint of a smile on her lips tinged with sadness and she offers the milk to him. “You should try letting go every now and then.”

“Ah yes, milk in the coffee first and then a rave with Klaus later.” He’s given a small shove in the side, the carton set on the counter. Five wonders if this would have been his life if he hadn’t run off, if he’d still have a good relationship with his siblings.

“Don’t be so cynical all the time. The world isn’t ending, and you should relax a little.”

He knows that it would be different, that they’d still be arguing with one another, pointless bickering that would lead to broken relationships and silence. A phone call that’s never answered and voicemails deleted without being heard.

“I can’t with Lila and the Handler creeping around.”

“Did she try and kill you?”

The question sits in the air, feels loaded and Five doesn’t know what to say. He stares at the milk carton, at the cap still sitting on the counter, an open invitation for change. Vanya takes the coffee pot off the burner, a single drop falling out and sizzling against the hot plate. She fills her mug, the dark amber mixing with white.

“She choked me.”

“Did she try and kill you though?” The pot’s set on the counter with the handle pointed towards Five.

“She choked me.” He repeats, attention pulled towards Vanya’s face as she lifts the cup to take a sip. She stops just shy of it, lowers the mug and frowns lightly at him. Soft creases in her forehead, and it takes Five a moment to realize she’s pitying him.

“We all fight, you punched the shit out of Diego, Allison has made him punch himself, you fought with her just the other day. How is it any different?” The cup is brought back up and Vanya takes a sip.

“I don’t - ?”

“Don’t be ignorant Five, you wanted to be enlightened.” She blows lightly at the drink, ripples on the surface as steam rises up.

“Diego slapped her.”

“And Luther picked you up off Diego before you could punch him again.”

Five lets out a heavy sigh, reaches for the milk and pours a small splash into his cup.

“I still don’t really get it.” The lights are on, curtains pulled shut and they’re sitting at the kitchen table. Chinese take-out and Five has never heard of the dishes his sister ordered. A brown sauce that otherwise looks unappealing, mixed vegetables and noodles. There’s white rice and he’s picking at it with a fork, the one thing he’s had before. Their meals were strict as kids, the nutrition calculated, and portions set, all part of the grand design for them to be _heroes_. The most they ever got were donuts at Griddy’s, poorly made dinner food that was cheap.

Then Five ran off into the future, learned to cook with fire and little else.

“Are we talking about the food or something else?” Vanya asks, picking up noodles with chopsticks. “Because I don’t follow your thought patterns easily.”

“I’m trying to be enlightened.” He’s dressed in the uniform again, feels more like himself with the pressed white shirt and sweater vest, with shorts and knee socks. The outfit he loathed as a kid but had grown used to; nostalgic now. “Live life on the edge and et cetera, et cetera.” The fork is pointed at the white carton of noodles, “What is this called?”

“Lo mein.” Vanya rests her arm on the table, chopsticks poised between her fingers. “Sometimes I forget how out of touch you are with - ”

“Everything?” An actual tease at himself, a curve of the lips. “You can only read so much from books. It’s not like I had a lot of spare time to live while at the commission.”

“Yes, well I’m shocked you’ve never had generic Chinese take-out.”

“I’ve never had a lot of things.” He’s lifting the noodles and scooping a small amount onto his plate. “Ignorant remember.”

There’s a roll of eyes, a slight huff that’s a cross between a sigh and a laugh. “Okay to far,” Vanya leans back in her seat, watching as Five tries different dishes. “What is it that you don’t get?”

He stops, a strip of beef that was in the brown sauce halfway to his mouth. It’s lowered, hovers over the plate with the fork still speared into it. “The you and Diego and you and Sissy thing.” Green eyes turn down, brows knitting together and it’s clear he’s trying to find the right words to say. “Emotions are hardest for me, because of what Temps did.”

“Yeah?”

“Whatever I had before is broken up, like that old nursery rhyme. Pieces glued back together, and it looks right but everything is at a wrong angle or there’s gaps in places.”

“Nursery rhyme?” Vanya’s trying to follow along, “Did you read those too while you were… alone?”

“I read everything.” Five takes a bite of the beef, chews slowly as if deciding on his opinion of the flavor. “But the Humpty Dumpty one.”

“Oh, and the difference between a crush and real affection has a gap?” Vanya takes a small bite of her own noodles, uses it as a way of stalling the conversation. She’s picking her words and Five can tell, is for once not anxious over it, knows that she’s doing it for his own sake. “Okay, so using Diego as an example.”

“…yeah…?”

“How do you feel about him compared to how you felt about Delores?”

Five lowers his fork back to the plate, doesn’t hear the rain outside anymore, only the sound of wet tires on the road. He leans back in his seat, the chair creaking lightly with the moment. “I think,” He starts, “That I didn’t hate the milk in my coffee.”

Vanya laughs, gives a shake of the head. “That is so far off topic.”

“Is it?” He pokes at another piece of beef, lifts it up and looks at it in the air. “I’m an enlightened ignorant old fool.”

“What does that mean?”

“I owe Lila an apology and should go talk to Diego sooner rather than later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot to unpack in this chapter
> 
> Up side is that there will most definitely be 18 chapters, maybe a bit more for the full story arch I have planned
> 
> hmu on my tumblr for BS content and to many images of TUA


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Help I'm alive, my heart keeps beating like a hammer  
> Hard to be soft  
> Tough to be tender

「 We could set the world on fire  
Using only our minds 」

The family car is still parked outside of the gym, unmoved from when Five drove it over. He can see it on the edge of the parking lot, water still clinging to the windows. Everything is soaked, the sun having set some time ago, leaving the city damp. Cool night air, a chill brought on by the storms, a reminder that summer was coming to an end. A change of the seasons and he’d like to think that everything will be back as it were in another month, back to _normal_. Five’s leaning against the wall near the entrance to the gym, is given looks by patrons who are on their way out, knows that it has to do with his less childish appearance in the same uniform as always.

Clothes that apparently belonged to Diego once in the past.

A feeling like static runs through him, a sense that he isn’t alone and he’s looking towards the street. Restless energy, the urge to get up and move forward and Five knows he’s felt it before. He closes his eyes against the sensation, thinks about when Diego had simply grabbed his _arm_ , how he’d punched him later in the living room. The alternative would have been worse. 

A shift in his stance, eyes turning towards bitten down nails. He doesn’t need to look up to know when Diego is pulling into the parking lot, doesn’t need to see the car to know that he’s alone.

Lila is somewhere in the city, a presence that’ll likely come back to haunt him. Five knows he needs to try and talk to her, find some form of words that won’t set her off. A common resolute ground, a way of interacting that doesn’t end up in a fight. His attentions pulled forward, a bubble in his chest, pushing upwards and he knows that if he were any other person, if Temps hadn’t altered him _so much,_ he’d jump at the sight of Diego.

Five feels suffocated, air stuck in his lungs and pressure inside of his head.

Nails dig into the palm of his hand, eyes pointed down, self defense and there’s mild amusement flowing into him. “Why don’t you just stick to your own thoughts?” It comes out in a snappish tone, with irritation being pushed back.

“You’re the one leaving your mind wide open.” Diego’s boots are rough against the wet pavement, the sound of damp gravel mixing in with each step. It’s the sound that Five focuses on, that pulls at his attention. Sensory details that he can’t seem to ignore.

“I don’t understand what you mean.”

Shoulders curve and Five blatantly ignores the shift in posture, the way Diego tilts his head. He keeps his eyes elsewhere, is fighting against the blooming pressure in his chest. Up close and it’s hard to ignore, hard to reign in impulses that he doesn’t understand.

“You’d understand if you were smarter.” There’s a smile attached to the words, no malice intended, and it hits Five just right, leaves him with the urge to shiver. It has the intended effect, green eyes moving up and meeting Diego’s.

“C’mon, let’s go inside.” A tilt of the head and his brother’s not waiting for an answer, is moving forward.

Five waits for the door to fall shut before pushing himself away from the wall. The added distance is minimal but does what he needs it to, allows his shoulders to relax, for a sense of control to settle back in. The gym smells as it always does, of sweat and blood and rubber. It’s a foul mixture, has always caused him to warp through the space, directly into Diego’s room. Five doesn’t attempt it after earlier, doesn’t want to deal with cleaning up the mess.

It would be a waste given what Vanya spent on their dinner.

Diego stops and looks back at him, watches as Five comes to an abrupt stop out of arms reach. It’s clear he wants to say something, ask about the distance. A weight is dropped in the background, a heavy sound that echoes in the near empty gym. It’s enough to startle Five, for a sudden shift in posture and his hands to clench at his side. Conditioned reflexes mixed with paranoia. Diego takes a step towards him, reaching for his arm and Five pulls himself back.

“No.” An accusing finger held up, pointed.

“You are so confusing right now.” Exhausted sounding and he doesn’t need to be told a second time. Five watches as Diego disappears around the corner, into the hall that leads to the boiler room, waits a moment too long to be casual before following after. Florescent lights hum overhead, static pops of energy in the air and the hall feels like it belongs in some other building. Diego’s door is left open, inviting, dimly lit in comparison and he slides into the space without any more hesitation.

The doors nudged shut and Five doesn’t venture into the room any farther, leans against the metal railing. He looks down into the space, at the kitchenette and the bed, at the items scattered about on the small countertop. Diego drops his jacket against a wooden chair, the same one Five remembers Delores being set on, perched against during a time he was too shit faced to argue. Hands curl against the metal, a solid grip as the boiler hums in the corner.

“You just going to stay up there?” Diego’s hands move to unclasp the holster around his chest, straps sliding from his shoulders.

“No.”

He pauses, attention shifting up and a frown falls into place. “Don’t do that.” The holster is hung up, a hook on the post in the middle of the room and Diego takes a step closer to Five.

“Do what?” Hands slide over the painted metal, feeling out the rough texture underneath. A poor job and there’s layers upon layers of paint.

“That – right there, you’re saying the opposite, being a contradiction to what you’re thinking.”

Five leans back, loosens his grip on the railing and takes a step down, closer to the boiler. He can feel the heat coming from it, a warmth that he’d enjoy if the weather was colder. “Again, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He’s given a look in response, disapproving and it causes an amused smile to form on his own lips. “You’re upset.”

Diego let’s out a huff of air, annoyance and exasperation intermixed, turns away. He plops down on the edge of his bed, springs creaking under his weight. Five watches as he leans down to undo the laces of his boots, an indication that he doesn’t plan on going anywhere else that night. Another step closer and Five holds himself back, grips the railing until his knuckles turn white, has the urge to move forward and he can’t figure out why. He opens his mouth to speak, thinks better of it.

_I don’t understand._

Words pushed out, bright and vibrant and Diego is looking up at him. His expression shifts, realization and it blooms in the back of Five’s head, loud and clear to the point that he has to look away, is just shy of closing his eyes. The bed creaks and Diego has only managed to untie the laces of one boot, is standing up to move closer.

Five takes a step back, towards the door.

“You’re not doing it on purpose.”

“Where’s Lila?” An abrupt change of topic and Five is hiding behind the railing, has placed it as a physical barrier between them, both hands against metal.

“She’ll be back tomorrow.” Diego sits back down, rubs at his eyes, the line of his shoulders tense. It’s a sensation Five can feel in his own back, sympathy pains or a result of the shared minds, he isn’t sure which. “I talked to her.”

“About?”

Five’s given a look, annoyed, and his brother leans back down to finish undoing the laces on his shoes. The rooms quiet for another moment, filled with the hum of the boiler, with the sound of heavy boots hitting the ground. “You can always look.”

“Why would I do that?” He leans forward, forearms against the railing, a curve of his own back. Casual. “And why is she coming back?”

“She said something about not letting you be alone for too long, which yeah you can’t teleport right, I get it, and there’s crime scenes or something that she has to show us.” Diego’s no longer looking at him, is working to remove the blade harness from around his thigh.

“How do you know I can’t teleport?”

“Jesus Christ – Five, just _look_.” Diego makes a gesture towards his head, drops the other harness on the chair across from him, kicks his boots towards it. “Lila already pointed it out, I can feel what you do, it might not be as strong, but it’s still there.”

“I can still teleport.”

“But you get sick.”

Five makes a small sound, thinks about Diego crowding his space, about hands on has back as he landed on the dresser top, on the bed suddenly below them. His mouth opens, words forming and across the room Diego’s staring at him, confused.

“Why are you thinking about _that_?”

“I didn’t have problems teleporting with you.”

“Oh.” He looks down, rubs at the back of his neck, mild embarrassment flicking in through the back of Five’s head, secondhand emotions. “How is Vanya?” Another change in topic, avoidance, and this time it’s from Diego.

“How did you know I went to see her?”

“Five, _seriously_ – I called her, after your bizarre warping adventure and feeling like my chest was being ripped apart. I called the house and I called her. There’s not a lot of places you’ll run off to.” He’s reaching up, fingers rubbing at his eyes and Five is all to aware of the frustration seeping into his mind. There’s miscommunication, a lack of understanding and he knows that it’s because of him. He stands up straight, takes another step into the room, around the bend of the steps and he’s almost on the same floor as Diego.

“Why didn’t you tell me you two dated?”

“Wait – what?” Diego’s hand falls from his face, eyes turning to focus on Five.

“She mentioned you two used to be together.”

“That was a long time, and clearly we’re not Luther and Allison. It was – childish? A way to try and find comfort.” He doesn’t know how else to explain it, doesn’t see the point in dredging up the past. “Why are you asking about that now?”

“I’m trying to fill in the pieces.” Five breathes in, slow and through his nose, calming or like he’s struggling to maintain control. Diego’s looking at him like he’s trying to decipher a cryptic message, some complex math equation. “Why aren’t _you_ looking?” He asks, hand dropping from the metal railing.

“Because you clearly don’t like when I understand you better then you understand yourself.”

“Then why do you do it sometimes?” Behind him the boiler hums, nearly overshadows the faint sound of weights being dropped in the gym above, and Five can’t help but look up at the small lightbulb illuminating the room. Attention bleeding into the details and he reaches, presses at his own eyes. “I’m just trying to understand.”

The bed creaks as Diego leans back, one leg pulled up on to the mattress. His posture is casual, lacks the tension Five had seen earlier, like he’s relaxing into the space, into the conversation.

“It’s not intentional, was an accident the first time.”

“You mean in the car with Allison?”

Diego runs his hand over the blankets beneath him, worn fabric that’s soft to the touch. “No, before that. It was like… I suddenly understood everything, why you didn’t want to be at the warehouse, how you can’t help but focus on minute sounds or the way you’re hyper aware of every little thing around you. The fact that you agreed to help because you don’t know what else to do with yourself now that the world isn’t ending.” He picks at a loose thread, twists it between his fingers. “It’s an invasion of privacy.”

“That’s not what I hate.”

“It’s the lack of control.” Diego looks back at him, a weak smile forming. “It’s why you haven’t come any closer.”

Five looks down, at the step he’s standing on and lets out a small sound, air escaping his lungs like he hadn’t realized what he was doing. “It’s the things I don’t understand.” He reaches over and places his palm against metal, fingers curved around the railing. “Vanya said I was ignorant and I’m trying to figure it out.” He drags his hand down to the edge of the metal bar, where it curves and drops down to the floor. One foot off the step and he lets go again. “It’s not the lack of control, it’s… emotions and feelings, empathy. You keep saying I’m contradicting myself but it’s not intentional.” His other foot moves onto the landing and Five smooths his hands over his blazer.

“Now I’m confused.” Diego lets his leg fall back to the floor, is sitting on the edge of the bed. He leans forward, just far enough to catch Five’s attention, to keep it from focusing on sparse details.

“Did you see what Temps did to me? When you flipped through my memories?” There’s a small smile that forms, sad and this time Five doesn’t fight down the sense of loss that fills his chest.

“No, there’s… some stuff that’s blacked out, like you have a wall built up around it.” Diego’s voice nearly cracks, a winded sound like he’s been hit in the chest.

“Redacted.” Five clarifies, and he moves over to where the post in the room is, leans his shoulder against it, hands in his pockets. “Because I refuse to remember it. I lost so much of myself, my ability to connect the figurative dots in your mind, or even how to…” He waves a hand in the air between them, a vague gesture. “The mind thing. You’re there, yes but I can’t _look_ like you keep saying. Not like how you do. I think it’s because there’s empty pockets and gaps where emotions should occupy. Walls, as you say, built up keeping parts of my mind from interacting.”

“Is that why you’re constantly not making any sense?”

“Contradicting myself, as you say.”

“I know it’s not on purpose but _Jesus,_ Five, to not even realize you’re doing it.”

Green eyes turn down, the toe of his oxford taps at a wooden chair leg beside him. Diego’s jacket sits in a crumpled heap, a harness placed on top. Up close and without anything else to focus on he can feel his brother in the back of his mind, can feel the bubble forming in his chest. “Right now, what is it… I can’t figure out what this…” Distracted and he can’t find the right words, can’t figure out how to explain what he’s feeling.

“That?” A weak smile and the bed creaks as Diego stand’s up. He takes a step closer, hesitant to see if Five would pull back once more, tell him to keep his distance. “It’s the same feeling I get when I want to hold someone.”

“Hold?”

Another step and Diego’s pulling Five against him, arms curling around slim shoulders. The response is sudden and sharp, a quick inhale, “I’ve wanted – ”

“To be hugged, and yeah you wanted it since you got in the back of my car.” Diego noses at dark hair, lips pressing against Five’s temple. “Different from before, right?” There’s amusement, light and playful and Five takes a good minute before reaching up. He grasps at Diego’s back, fingers clinging to the dark fabric of his shirt, lets himself be pulled in tightly.

“Yeah, why?” He feels lightheaded and warm.

“You really want to know?” There’s a hint of teasing, barely there and Five can tell Diego’s trying to hold back on it.

“I told you I don’t understand.”

“You weren’t interested in anything intimate or soft, you wanted to just get off.”

Five lets out a weak laugh, broken sounding and verging on breathy. “I don’t really see the difference.”

“I can show you, if you’d like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been weirdly depressed lately and then I rewrote this chapter like four or five times??
> 
> idk 
> 
> I'm doing something I call alphabet soup on tumblr for October, minor drabbles (A character study on Five) that I'll post on here eventually


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Selfish love is the type we share  
> I want your elfish touch and your pelvis here  
> Hot top shelf hugs, come don't be scared  
> Let me sweep away your feet, now it's only fair

「 I’ve lost my mind  
But I guess I’ll leave it behind 」

The light bulb hums in the room, an electrical buzz that rings loud in Five’s ears. It’s the sound that he focuses on, head tilted back, and neck exposed. An arm wraps around his back, holding him in place with lips against his neck, featherlight kisses and he feels like he’s on the precipice. Diego is warm and solid, holds him close with lips against skin. Five can’t help but grip his shoulders too hard, can’t stop himself from pulling at too long hair when it’s verging on too much. He tugs Diego back, lips away from his neck and he’s breathing like he’s run a mile, like he’s exhausted his powers.

Five’s pulled back in, closer, the distance he created nullified. There’re lips pressing against his own, soft, and they coax his own apart. The bubble of nerves in his chest expands, catches in his throat and he’s knitting his brows together, pulling back with a sharp inhale. “…’s… to much – just…” He blinks lights from his eyes, ignores the shiver that runs through him as Diego’s hands slide up, beneath the fabric of his sweater vest, on top of white cotton. “Can’t we just – like before?”

He’s given a low hum in response, is met with dark eyes and an amused grin. “You said you wanted to understand.”

“Right – this is just…”

“Feeling overwhelmed already?”

Five snaps his jaw shut, can feel the warmth on his face, the heat on the back of his neck. He shifts, wiggles on Diego’s lap, knees pressing into the mattress. “No.” He pulls at long hair again, leans up and presses their lips together. There’s more force, the barest scrape of teeth and Diego makes a low sound, vague annoyance. He moves his hand, curls one around his brother’s hip to hold him still. Five squeezes at Diego’s shoulder, is just shy of pushing him down when it’s his turn for his hair to be pulled.

A harsh yank back, forcing his eyes up to the ceiling. A choked-out sound works its way up, is smothered by another noise. Bright and verging on _pleased_ and Diego kisses lightly against his adams apple, slides his lips up. “You’re being too harsh.” He chides, let’s his tongue lap at skin. It’s warm and wet and Five feels like he’s falling. “No teeth.”

“Right.” He’s dizzy from the attention.

“No nails.”

“Uh-hunh.” The hand in his hair lets go and Five is leaning back in. He presses his nose against Diego’s neck, arms curled around shoulders and he fights down a shiver. The need to feel more skin is building, an added pressure behind his eyes and it’s near blinding, makes it hard for him to focus on anything else. He wants to be close, wants to feel whole, wants to feel Diego’s heart against his own. Lips press down, mouth open and he’s close to biting again, has half a mind to leave a mark on Diego that matches the fading one on his own neck.

Five lets his tongue slide over skin, sucks at the spot and he’s pulling harshly at dark fabric, is just shy of ripping it up. His wrists are caught, thumbs pressed against the soft inner side and Five lets out a frustrated sound. “I didn’t _bite_.” He snaps, is leaning back to look at Diego.

“You’re still being to forceful.” Lips press against his cheek, higher and against his temple, gentle.

Five can’t stop the tremble that runs through him, that has his eyes falling shut. Restraint was never his strong suit, not when he knew what he wanted, not when it was right there in front of him.

“Then – how?” Airy sounding words and he can’t help but breathe in, can’t help how he has to focus on the way the air expands his lungs.

He can hear the lightbulb humming, the boiler hissing in the far corner and he nearly misses the hands sliding up his back. His sweater vest bunches up beneath his arms, back curving and the sudden urge to be smothered by Diego fills his mind.

He’s given a low chuckle in response, a chaste kiss on the lips.

“C’mon, stand up.” Diego nudges him back, scoots them closer to the edge of the bed.

Five doesn’t think his legs will hold him but he’s dragging himself up, hands on his brother’s shoulders. The floor is cool even through his socks and he leans forward just a bit too much, a curve of his back to press his lips against the side of Diego’s head. Mimicry of the kisses left on him and he’s to mentally occupied to register the hands coaxing his blazer from his shoulders. It hangs around his elbows, fabric bunched for a moment before Five lefts it drop to the floor.

Diego straightens his back, tugs him down into another kiss. He presses his palm against the middle of Five’s back, solid and warm and the white button up is still in place. Lips slide together, a hint of tongue and it’s enough to startle him, to have Five pulling back. He’s leaning over Diego, hands on his chest and the sweater vest is being pulled up. Thumbs hook under the hem and Five lets it go with ease, discarded on the floor. He’s leaning back in for another kiss, is moving to sit back on Diego’s lap when his hip is caught, when a palm is pressed against his chest.

“Not yet.” Diego’s voice is low, gravel, and Five’s head is swimming, catch disconnected thoughts seeping in from the other. He presses teeth into his own lip, caught with one knee on the bed, with his brother’s thigh between his legs.

“I could have removed them faster.” His own voice is different sounding to his ears, breathless and he’s stuck wondering if his eyes are just as dark. If he looks as high as Diego does.

“That’s not the point.” Diego tugs at a button, slips it through the small hole before moving to the one below it. He doesn’t elaborate, merely pushes the tie aside as he undoes each button. Exposed skin and Five thinks the room is growing warmer by the second. He gives a small squeeze to Diego’s shoulders, head tilting back, and he closes his eyes.

A kiss is pressed against his sternum, bare skin, and it’s a startling sensation.

He lets out a small moan, tries to sound _annoyed_ at the shock of it. Throat suddenly dry and another kiss is placed below the first, lower with each undone button and Five can feel his stomach flip, a swooping sensation he hasn’t experienced since he was a kid. “E… enough.” Shaky words and he’s pushing himself forward, seating himself in Diego’s lap once more.

“You liked it.” Arms curl around him, pull him in close and Five almost wishes he’d removed his shorts. The fabric is tight against him, limits how close he can slot himself against Diego, and before something else is said he’s leaning in for another kiss. A slow slide of lips, a palm against his back and Five is pushing his chest against his brothers. A layer of fabric between them, his tie caught against the white cotton hanging from his shoulders, half tucked into his shorts.

He moves his hands down, pulls _gently_ at dark material.

Diego leans back just long enough for his shirt to be removed. It lands on the floor with a soft sound, a noise that Five finds himself focusing on, eyes drifting towards an arbitrary spot on the wall. His neck is kissed, a lick over his pulse, “Pay attention.” And it’s said to close to his ear, head turning in response. Lips press against his own, a tongue sliding in and it’s obscene feeling. Wet and slick and warm against his own, has Five’s whole body humming in response.

A noise works its way up, pleased and he can’t deny how it makes Diego feel, how it ricochets around his own mind. Bright and eager for more, glaringly obvious and Five squirms. He’s blinded by Diego’s thoughts in his head, the desire for more, to cause him to tremble and shake from pleasure. Five pulls himself back from the kiss, inhales in quick staccato before he’s being pushed back in. A palm against the back of his neck, solid with little pressure and it’s all the support Five needs.

He’s dragging his hands against tan shoulders, over strong arms and a toned chest. Restraint and there’s no press of nails, no biting sting of broken skin.

Diego breaks the kiss to breathe, is leaning back with a hand against the bed. The mattress creaks in the quiet room, and Five’s hands slide down to press against ribs. He watches as Diego’s hand moves to his hip, a firm grip, thumb sliding over skin. A pull, dragging him forward and hips are pushed up against him, creating pressure.

“Wanna cum in your pants again?”

Five’s mind goes blank, sparks going off as he repeats the motion, a roll of his hips. Chasing after vibrant pleasure. He gives a shake of the head, doesn’t trust himself to speak and Diego’s in his head again, poking and prodding at disconnected, scattered thoughts.

“You gotta say it.” His back hits the bed, both hands on Five’s hips and he’s dragging him forward, push pull movements. “Can’t just think it.” His own words are light sounding, like he’s having to focus to keep the air in his lungs.

Five’s hands stick to tan skin, pecs that have been worked solid from years of training. He feels soft in comparison, an older body and yet it’s lacking the years of training.

“Talk to me.” Diego pulls at his hips again, directing him into grinding their arousals together. The springs of the mattress groan in protest, obscene sounding, and Five sucks in a breath of air, is struggling to keep his mind functioning. Without the sharp bite of nails or teeth against skin he can’t keep himself in place, is falling apart.

Crumbling façade and kiss swollen lips, “We should fuck.” He says on an exhale.

Diego can’t hide the amused smirk from forming on his lips, drags Five over his dick once more. “Hate to break it to you, but we’ve been fucking.” He dips his fingers into the waistband of his brother’s shorts, seeking out more skin. “I’m asking how you want to get off.”

Five can’t hold back the noise in his chest, a surprised little whine and he’s suddenly struck with a desire to hear Diego make such sounds. The resounding gasp below him is all he needs to know the thought was heard, desire and want building in the back of his head. “Let me – suck your dick.” Five is sliding down onto the floor like water, hands working at Diego’s pants before the man can sit up. A pop of the button, zipper pulled down and its single-minded focus.

Fabric rustles, the light bulb hums, and its ambient sounds that Five pushes to the far reaches of his mind. A desire to fully seat himself in the hear and now, to live in the present. He leans forward, nose against skin, a press of lips and Diego is pushing him back just long enough to expose himself. Hard flesh and coarse hair and Five leans forward to lick at the tip. His lack of experience doesn’t need to be said, is blotted over by a guiding hand in his hair. Dark strands fisted, minimal pressure and Diego watches his cock disappear between Five’s kiss swollen lips.

The heady scent of sweat and musk is hard to ignore, adds to the barely there hint of saltiness every time he slides back up to the tip. Light suction and the weight on his tongue is prominent, is what Five can’t help but focus on. He tries to swallow down around the thick cock, saliva pooling in his mouth and he drags himself back to the tip, lips rubbing against the swollen head. Diego’s hand pushes at the back of his head, arousal twitching in the open air, eager for more his brother’s warm mouth. Five presses his mouth against the underside, over the vein and he licks again, tongue dragging over the shaft.

Lips find the tip and stretch around it, slide back down and above him Diego lets out a moan, low and pleased sounding. Pressure is added to Five’s head, pushing him lower and it’s to much, has him chocking on the length and pulling back. A wet pop, mouth open and he’s breathing heavily, eyes turning up to catch Diego’s.

Spit slick chin, swollen lips and he’s got no finesses, looks wrecked.

“Do you like this?”

Five stares at up at him, opens his mouth hangs his tongue out, uses the hand in his hair to angle his head just right. Diego’s cock slides past his lips, against the soft flesh of his tongue, pushes back towards his throat again until he gags once more. He licks at the spit slick tip, drags his tongue over the cockhead as he catches his breath.

“Yeah, I do.” He sounds wrecked, hands moving to rest against his brother’s knees. “Do you?” The hand in his hair is readjusted, pushing his fringe back, exposing more of his face and Five is staring up at him.

“What changed your mind?” Diego tightens his grip, keeps the other in place. “You were so against removing your clothes before, like keeping yourself dressed meant we didn’t really do anything.”

Five tries to pull himself free, tries to get his mouth back on Diego, can feel the sharp prick of his hair being pulled. The sensation settles low in his gut, tightens the coil and his eyes fall shut. “Milk, in my coffee.” Not the right answer but it’s what comes out, what his mind settles on.

“What?”

Five wraps his hand around Diego’s cock, a slow stroke up, the way he used to get himself off. Drying spit and the pull of skin is rough. “I got an outside opinion.” Thumb and index finger in a tight ring, a drag back down to coarse hair. “This actually going to fit in me?” He sounds disbelieving, breathless.

Diego makes a broken sound, has to stop Five from moving his hand again. “Tell me about it after we get off, I can’t follow your thoughts like this.” He pulls at his wrist, dislodging his hand and Five doesn’t pick himself up off the floor until Diego drags him up. “And yes, I’ll fit.” On his feet once more and Five feels even more unstable then before, blood flow directed to between his legs. He tugs at his tie, weak movements to loosen the knot and it’s dropped on the floor. The white button up is caught by tan hands, bunched up against pale skin and Diego’s kissing his chest once more. Open mouthed and light suction, tongue lapping at red marks forming.

“I didn’t mean to bite you, before.”

Five runs his fingers through long hair, doesn’t push Diego in any direction. “That was one of my thoughts.” A tongue drags over his nipple, pulls a sharp inhale in response and he pulls back. Diego doesn’t let him move far, arm wrapped around his waist, hauling him back in and he repeats the action. A slow lick, gentle suction, and Five’s legs are weak. He squirms, pushes and pulls at Diego’s head until he stops.

“God you’re so responsive.” He sounds as out of breath as Five feels, “Stretching you is going to be fun.”

The light bulb hanging in the middle room is humming, filling the space with yellow tinged light. Five is on his back, the bed creaking beneath him every time Diego moves. He’s got one hand against his knee, spreading his legs open and wide, holding him in place. Two fingers pressed in, slick and wet with lube and it’s adding to the sounds in the room. Air catches in his lungs and he’s struggling to breathe, struggling to keep his mind from spiraling out of control. A ricochet of thoughts that neither needs to experience.

Diego drags his free hand up, against the inside of his thigh and pushes back in with his fingers. Five’s body gives way with ease, muscles fluttering, and the motion is repeated. He’s being finger fucked open, worked until his hole is soft and pliant and Five nearly forgets to breathe. Hands claw at the bedding, tugging and pulling at the fabric, hips pushing up to meet each press back in. His own dick is hard and lying against his lower belly, tip red and leaking.

“Better then cumming in your pants?” Teasing words and Diego watches Five’s expression shift, his brows knitting together. He slides his fingers back out, rubbing them against his entrance, just enough pressure to draw his focus.

“Don’t be a – _ah_ – a dick…” Five has to close his eyes for a moment, body twitching and he’s pushing up against Diego’s hand. A third finger pressing in, creating a slight burn and he’s pressing his hand against his mouth, stifling the whorish moan that’s falling out. A tremble runs through him, muscles squeezing down against Diego and he can feel Five shiver under his palm.

“We could’ve been doing this from the start.” He pushes in deep, loves how Five’s hips push up to meet his hand. “But you like creaming your pants.”

“ _Shut – up!_ ” His voice jumps at the end, head turning and he’s dragging Diego’s pillow over his face. Muffled sounds fill the space, are mixed in with the wet squelch of lube and it’s almost too much. A thumb rubs over his prostate from the outside, fingers dragging over it from the inside and Five’s cock twitches, balls drawing up. He kicks at the mattress, toes curling and before he can release Diego’s pulling his hand back out, lube covered fingers wiped against the bedding.

“You need a moment to calm down?”

The pillow is pulled from Five’s grasp, tossed aside and Diego is dragging his hands along the inside of his spread legs, thumbs rubbing over the point where his pelvis meets his thigh. It’s a soothing gesture, meant to help him settle back into his own skin.

“Do you?” Five fires back, words lacking their usual bite.

He sounds on edge.

Diego leans down and kisses him, back curved and he doesn’t stop until Five is pushing at his shoulders, is sucking in air like he’s drowning.

“Okay – just do it.” He’s squirming on the bed, knees pulling up, a leg wrapping around his brother’s hips. A quick inhale and it doesn’t matter how full his lungs feel, how much he breathes in, he can’t seem to catch his breath. Diego leans over him, held up by one arm and the position is so close to their last time that Five forgets to hold his words when he’s pressed into. Muscles stretch around the cock head, his hips pushing up to take in more.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck – _Diego_ ,” He’s babbling, bright lights behind his eyes. A fluttery feeling in his chest, the sense of feeling _whole and complete_ and there’s lips pressing against his temple. Pressed in down to the hilt and for a moment the room goes still, the hum of the light bulb is gone, the sound of the boiler in the corner distant, and the only thing Five can hear is Diego’s labored breath against his neck.

He turns his head, eyes on his brother and he can’t help but focus on how dark his eyes are, how wide his pupils look. The first slide out has his jaw falling open, the drag of a cock along his walls leaves him feeling high. Foreheads pressed together, hips pushing forward and they’re fucking. The bed creaks in protest, hits against the wall from a broken rhythm and Five is gripping at Diego. He’s pushing up to meet each downward thrust, thighs trembling every time he’s filled to the brim, every time Diego bottoms out inside of him. They’re not going to last, wet sounds and the slap of skin.

Five lets out whorish whines, bright and airy, noises he’d never think he could make, feels like they’re being punched from his chest. Diego is preening at them, his own broken moans spilling out to close to his lips, humid air mixed between them. Five digs his heel into his back, pushing him in closer. He can feel how loose and open his hole is, how pliant and soft Diego made him, doesn’t even notice the way blue sparks are forming around them, how the light in the middle of the room suddenly pops off.

Hyper focus on the man above him, on how the bed protests their movements, and Five can feel his dick throbbing between them. It’s bouncing against his hips, a sticky trail of precum left against flushed skin and if could pull his hands away from Diego he’d be stroking himself. Instead he’s gripping at his brother, relishing in the way he’s being fucked, in the spike of secondhand pleasure building in the back of his head.

Lips seal over his own, a low grunt and Diego’s movements are sporadic, hips pushing down again and again and again, cock throbbing as he fucks himself to completion. He’s cumming with broken movements and hips twitching. Wet sounds, skin hitting skin, and Five is vaguely aware of how wet he feels, of the thick cum being fucking into him. His own dick is trapped between them, rubbing helplessly against Diego and it doesn’t take more then a hot palm wrapping around him.

One stroke down, a thumb swiped at the head and he’s squeezing down on the cock still pressed in deep. Muscles fluttering around the length, body shivering and Five has to close his eyes. Diego’s throbbing inside of him, a rebound effect of feeling Five’s release second hand, of it echoing back between them. Satiated and lips are pressing against his own, pliant, and he’s kissing back without a second thought. Diego rolls his hips, softening arousal dragging over Five’s prostate and it causes him to whine, to pull back from the kiss.

“Oh shit,” He’s hoarse sounding, “ – you should have worn a condom.” His expression shifts, a frown settling into place. “Go get me a towel.”

Diego lets out a huff of a laugh, noses at sweat dampened skin, at tousled dark hair. “Yeah, in a moment, let me enjoy this.” They miss how the setting sun is barely peaking in through the window, how the room is starting to grow dark, the sound of weights being dropping out in the gym.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet, hang on things are going to get crazy soon


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting way too deep  
> I'm fucking into it  
> I'm into it, yeah, I'm into it

「 I can feel it coming,  
You’re dragging me in 」

The spray of water is near scalding on his skin, runs down over his back and Five has to press his hand against the tile to keep himself up. His legs feel weak, vaguely numb and behind him he hears Diego climb into the shower. “You sure you’re okay?” The question is muted by the water and Five turns around to see him. He feels tired, like he could sleep for days and it’s a feeling he rarely experiences.

“I’m fine.” His mind is still on the light that had been streaming into the room, unable to figure out if they’d gone forward in time or back again. Water’s flicked in his face, secondhand annoyance clouding the back of his head.

“Stop it, we’ll figure it out later.”

A roll of the eyes and Five is reaching over for the soap, rests a hand against Diego for support. “Your ego needs to stop.” He doesn’t want to mention it, doesn’t want to bring it up again when it’s been sitting heavily in the back of his mind. A shared thought.

“What?” There’s a smile with his brother’s words, arm curling around Five’s waist for support. “I can’t help it if I was just that good that – ”

“Stop.” He doesn’t pull back from Diego, still feels sparks of electricity run through him whenever they touch. Nerve endings firing off and he reminds himself of an addict, chasing after a continuous high.

“You lost control.”

“I didn’t lose control.” The ache in his hips from the angle he’s leaning at isn’t comfortable, has him twisting against Diego.

“Then how come it’s daylight again and _sunny_ when it was raining all day.” A kiss is pressed against Five’s cheek, playful. “Just admit it, my dick was that good.”

He huffs and turns around, nudges Diego’s hand away from himself and reaches for the washcloth hanging from the showerhead. Slow and stunted movements, an all to obvious sign that he aches, that Diego had been a bit harsher than he’d intended. It’s an ache that Five doesn’t complain about, one that’s left him feeling relaxed like he’d taken too many shots, like he’s had one to many hits off a blunt. A small shift of his stance, trying to find a way to alleviate the ache in his hips and the soap slides out from his fingers, clattering to the bottom of the shower.

Five doesn’t move and Diego just stares at him for a moment.

The spray of the shower runs hot water over his shoulders, and they sag just a bit.

“I told you this could wait.” Diego’s leaning down and picking it up, takes the washcloth from Five. Gentle hands and he’s nudged out of the water, turned around. “Let me help.” The cloth is run over his shoulders and arms, over his chest and back. Slow and easy movements and he finds that it’s nice to not feel like he’s being rushed.

“I didn’t change my mind, about… this…” He starts, suds traveling down his back, Diego’s hand is against his hip, holding him steady. “I just got… validation.” Green eyes peer over his shoulder and Five takes in the sight, of Diego with long wet hair clinging to him, eyes concentrating on what he was doing. He moves to turn around to face him, is stopped by the hand tightening against his hip, fingers digging in. The barely there bite of nails is sharp, a stinging sensation that sits heavy in his mind. It’s bright, prominent in a way that Diego picks up on, smirks at.

“You don’t need to tell me, I know already.” A kiss is pressed against the nape of his neck and Five has to lean forward, press his hand against the tiled wall to keep himself up. “You don’t understand things when it comes to feelings, figured it was best to just let you get there on your own.” The washcloth is run over his lower belly, across his hips and Diego is moving down.

Knees against the floor and the shower sprays over Five’s back, warm water washing away the soap. He’s nudged forward just a bit, the cloth against his legs and there’s a low simmering heat filling his chest. It’s a sensation he recognizes now, is starting to associate with Diego and Five turns to look back. He’s met with a squeeze to his hip, with dark eyes peering up and its silent approval. Lips press together tightly, an attempt at muting the small sound that’s working its way up his chest and the hand on his hip slides back, palms his ass.

“Spread your legs a bit.” Diego’s voice is low, sounds like gravel and Five is doing just that. He leans forward, both hands against the wall for support and there’s fingers dipping between his legs, spreading him apart. A low hum of approval and Diego drags his thumb along the soft skin there. Five is red and sore, still covered in lube and traces of cum. It’s a sight to see, one that sends a secondhand rush through Five’s mind. He can tell it’s something his brother enjoys.

“Diego.” He says, a slight waver in his tone, warning and pleading at the same time. The washcloth is discarded, both palms on his ass and he’s held open. Five doesn’t know how to react, is left staring at tile while his dick starts to feel heavy between his legs. Prominent arousal clouds over his mind, loud in the back of his head.

“Tell me to stop if you don’t like it.” Diego doesn’t give any other warning, is leaning forward and licking, an easy drag of his tongue. Warm and wet and Five doesn’t know how to respond, keeps his jaw locked. He’s licked again, slow and teasing, a press against his hole and that sends shocks down his spine. Sparks of light flare up, spot into his vision and Five squirms, can’t figure out if he’s trying to pull away or push back. Behind him Diego shifts his weight, leans in and there’s the slightest bit of pressure. Sore muscle give way and Five can’t stop the sound from spilling out.

A choked little whine, broken and he tries to not pull away, to push back for more. A tremble of his thighs, dick hard and hanging between his legs and Five can’t stop himself from reaching down. He gives himself a squeeze in time with Diego’s tongue sliding back out.

“You like this?” Another wet drag against him, more teasing then anything and Five just nods his head, doesn’t trust himself to talk. He feels pressure against hole, tongue sliding back in and he leans forward, presses his forehead against the tile. It’s a repeated motion, pressure and rubbing against him only to be followed but teasing licks, just enough pressed inside and Five’s legs are going weak. Every movement has him aching, eager for more and he feels like they’re right back where they started. He drags his hand over his dick again, tries to time it with the tongue licking inside of him, movements slick from traces of soap and water. Five’s solid and heavy, thumbs at the tip and he knows what he wants, knows that Diego can see it bright and vivid in his mind. He has to give himself a squeeze, a tight grip on his dick before letting go, it’s almost too much too soon, is toeing the line of painful stimulation.

“Again.” His voice breaks, cracks in the middle of the word and it’s a shock to himself. Diego hums against him in response, mouth to busy to respond, tongue flicking inside of his body. It’s enough to have his toes curl, for a gasp to work its way out and his hand to slip against tile. The water’s still warm and spraying against his back, a constant reminder that they were supposed to be washing up. “Diego.” Five tries again, licks at his lower lip as he feels his brother pull back. For a brief second, he’s left with that open and loose sensation all over again, breathes in to try and calm the flutter in his chest.

“What was that?” A playful smirk with the words and two fingers press against him, sliding in past soft and pliant muscle. It’s a slow teasing gesture, a slide in as far as Diego can go only for him to drag his fingers back out. He’s playing with Five, with abused muscles and a sore hole. There’s still a bit of lube there, something that’ll go away with time, soak into skin like oil. “Five?” He’s pushing back in, knuckle deep and can see the way it’s causing his brother to squirm, can feel him tighten down around him.

“Again – Diego for fucks sake.” Five’s leaning forward, shifting the angle of his hips, braced up against tile. Another drag back out, half way before pushing back in and it pulls another whine from his chest.

“Need you to say it.” The playful tone is gone, replaced with gravel, with a rumble Five thinks he’d could feel in his bones. Diego is smug in the back of his head, a low thrum of arousal that’s reverberating through out, sliding down his spine and adding to the feeling of being finger fucked once more.

“Just fuck me again.” It comes out in a huff, near broken sounding and Five is too frustrated to care. He’s going to never hear the end of it, be subjected to Diego’s knowing smirks, to comments about how he _begged_ for it. “…’s much better than – ”

“Rutting? Cumming in your pants?” Teeth sink into the soft flesh of his ass, playful, as fingers are pushed in deep once more. “I know baby, I’ma make you feel good.” Diego’s pulling back, a loss of fingers and Five wants to snap about the pet name, about how empty he feels, about how his whole body aches. Instead the only sound is a soft inhale, a quiet gasp at the arm curling around his waist. Lips press over his neck, close to his ear and there’s teeth grazing the shell. “Lift your leg up.” And Five does, dazed with the hand curling under his thigh, with nails pressing into skin and holding him up.

Like this he feels exposed, vulnerable with the slick tile and the way he can’t grasp onto anything, with how wet the floor is. Lips drag over his ear again, down to his pulse and the arm wrapped around him retreats. Fingers ghost over his hip and Five can feel the air catching in his lungs, warmth pressing against his hole. Lined up just right and Diego’s squeezing his hip, holding him in place as he presses back in. Five’s body gives way with ease, fucked open earlier and the mix of pain pleasure has him forgetting to breathe.

Too used and too sore for anything harsh and his brother knows this, is rolling his hips in a lazy motion, fucking him with easy half strokes. The grind of a solid cock, a press against muscles stretched wide and Five tries to push back, to meet each slide back in. Diego’s breathing heavily against his neck, his ear, is sliding his hand forward, fingers splayed against his low belly, brushing against wet coarse hair, against the base of his own dick. Heavy and swaying with their movements, and each push pull drag is sitting him closer and closer to the edge. Five’s hands stay on the wall, sliding against tile, seeking purchase, something to grip and each time he’s pushed back down, body sinking onto a solid cock.

“Diego,” The name comes out like a praise, on a broken sound and it runs hot down his own back, has his toes curling and muscles fluttering. It’s a sensation they both enjoy, that has Diego rutting up into him, a sudden snap of hips till he’s buried in deep. Five wiggles against him, stunted movements, a roll of his hips as he grinds them together. Vision blotted out and he almost misses the pleased huff against his neck.

“God you really love rutting.” A small tease, hips pushing against him like Diego could go any deeper. “How fast do you wanna cum?” A tongue drags over his neck, is followed by suction kisses and Diego is pulling back out, all the way. Shallow thrusts, cockhead sliding against abused muscle repeatedly and Five lets out a small sob.

“I’m…” A quick thrust in, a steady fuck, in out, repetition and Five forgets how to speak, has to shove himself back down on Diego to even catch his breath. “So close so close.”

“Me to.” The hand holding his leg up drags farther up his thigh, a small bounce and Five’s knee is pulled to the side. He’s resting against Diego’s arm, spread wide as he’s fucked into again and again. Steady movements and solid heat sinking in, down to the hilt and it has him choking again. The angle is to perfect, has him pushing back, eager to be filled. Diego’s free hand is pulling back at his hip, fingers pressing against bone. Directed movements, body push pulled along his brother’s dick and he can feel it.

“Touch yourself, wanna feel you cum.”

“No.” High pitched and annoyed sounding and Five hangs his head forward, cock sliding in deep and it has his toes curl. “Going to – don’t need…” He can’t think right, words disconnecting and before he can even grasp what he’s saying his lips are moving. “Cum in me again,” Hips push back, a stuttered movement and Diego is breathing heavily behind him. He sounds like he’s been punched in the gut, is fucking Five with solid strokes, a broken rhythm. To close and it doesn’t take much more then a cock pressed in deep, a slow grind and a half stroke. Five is cumming, untouched and it has him near sobbing, chocked sounds being fucked out of him. Sticky white fluid oozing from his own dick, dribbling down onto the shower floor.

Behind him Diego moans, is fucking himself to completion, palm on Five’s back as he bounces them together. He’s pushing everything out of Five, fucking him through his orgasm as he falls into his own. Muscles squeezing over him, a flutter of sensation and he’s throbbing, dick pulsing as he cums. Soft muttered words of praise fall out, ghost over Five’s neck as he tries to remember how to breathe. There’s cum sliding out of him, spilling out with each broken thrust from Diego as he slows down. He doesn’t pull out right away, stays pressed in deep, over stimulating nerves that were wrung dry.

“Diego.” Five sounds wrecked, a numbness settling into his leg that’s being held up. “I don’t – I don’t think I can stand much longer.” A tremble to his words.

He’s given a low laugh in response, a heady chuckle and a kiss to his cheek. Diego slides out, the spray of the shower cool against them. “I know, I know, let me clean you up.” He lowers Five’s leg, an arm around his waist to steady him, to hold him up. A kiss is pressed against his cheek when they’re facing each other, lips sliding over to his mouth. Light pressure and Five tilts his head back, let’s Diego explore his mouth for a moment, lazy and languid.

The door to the boiler room is pushed open and Diego trots down the steps with a greasy looking brown bag in his hands. “I got tacos.” A half announcement, a response to the curiosity sitting in the back of his head and questioning green eyes. Five’s lying on the bed, head propped up as he reads over various papers, police reports Diego assumes. “I also figured out that it was two days we went back. So, I think it’s - ”

“The day you took me to that god-awful warehouse.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Diego turns to look at him, food set on the counter. He’s leaning against it, hands on the edge and body language open. It’s something Five can never reciprocate, is something he struggles with. His attention is brought back to the papers, an avoidance to the questions poking into the back of his head. He opts to say the first thing that comes to mind, a way of avoiding other topics, of ignoring the questions Diego has.

“Judging by the time, I’m going to say we’d just left for the warehouse but also probably just popped back into the parking lot? Or something?” Five was starting to get confused with the all of the back and forth he’d been doing the past few days. He feels like it’s been well over a week but in reality, he’s been on repeat of the same day.

“At least we know it’s going to rain tomorrow.” Diego turns back to the food and pulls out some foil wrapped tacos and sets them on a plastic plate, one that Five thinks he got from a thrift store. Picnic wear at best and there’s cuts across the surface. “And that no one is going to come look for us since I think we fight in the living room back at the academy?”

A small huff and Five pushes himself up, keeps his movements to a minimum. He aches but it’s nothing like bruised ribs or a bullet wound in his side. It’s a sensation that brightens the dark corners of his mind, that leaves him feeling relaxed like he hasn’t felt in decades. Satiated. Diego drags a chair over to the edge of the bed, sets a plate down in front of Five as he unwraps his own food. “You’ve never had these before, right?” An abrupt change in topic, is said with a knowing smirk and Five doesn’t need to be able to feel his brother’s emotions to know what he’s thinking.

“No, I haven’t. Mostly ate canned food and scraps.” He’s careful to peel the foil back, doesn’t know what to expect. A repeat of his dinner with Vanya, of offering up things he’s never tried before, stuff that he missed out on while growing up. Reginald only ever had high class cuisine, French and Italian based meals more often then not. Taco’s and Chinese take-out were things they’d only heard of as kids, were part of the outside world that they knew nothing about.

“Tomorrow, I want to go to that hotel.” Quick bites and Five is halfway through the taco within a minute, isn’t one to eat slowly or savor his food. Old habits that are hard to tamp down, to ignore after decades of use. “We also need to see Gra – _mom_.” Another bite and Diego is looking over at him.

“She’s your mom too.”

Five doesn’t respond, can feel the bubble of disappointment in the back of his head. He’s quick to inhale the rest of his food, fingers wiped off on cheap brown paper towels. The plate’s discarded, placed away from the file he’d been reading through and he lays back down, on his back with green eyes staring up at the ceiling. A full stomach and a body that’s more relaxed then he’s felt in years. “I know she is, but it’s hard to… it’s not quite there.” He’s struggling with words, listens to the way Diego crumples up the left-over foil. The scrape of the chair on the floor, heavy steps back to the kitchenette.

“You think they cut that out of you too?” Diego asks, and Five can feel the uncertainty, the nerves filling in the back of his head. Prominent and bright and he has to close his eyes to push them aside, to stop them from covering up his own thoughts. Confusion at best and he doesn’t quite understand, doesn’t know what to make of Diego’s anxiety on the subject.

“They took a lot. I’m still trying to figure out all of what I lost. There’s a detachment but you know that already. Anything that they assumed would get in the way of taking out targets was nullified.” A brief pause and he’s tilting his head to look over at Diego, watching his shoulders as he washes up their plates. “Which probably means my attachment to our mom was lost.”

“You think you’ll ever get that back?”

“I’m not sure.” Five lets out a small sound, akin to a hum and he’s rolling over and pushing himself up. Uneasy steps and the ache in his hips is less now, will likely begone within a day. He leans against the small countertop, in close proximity and it has Diego looking down at him. The water still running from the faucet, filling in the quiet sound of the room. “I can say I still care about her, about everyone from the academy. Be it loyalty or something more, they didn’t take that from me.”

He’s leaning in closer, a hand against Diego’s forearm, where the sleeve to his shirt is pushed up to reveal more skin. Damp from the water, from cleaning up the small bit of dishes. The touch leaves him feeling warm and bright, dulls the background sound inside of his own head. The faucet loud in Five’s ears, a distinct ambient noise that fades into a low hum in his mind the longer he leaves his hand in place. Skin on skin. Attention focusing on large brown eyes, curiosity sparked, a secondhand flicker in the back of his own head.

“I can say that I don’t really understand it, but I do like this, like what we’ve been doing. It’s… It gives me the same feeling I got when I was with Delores.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being so slow, life be getting me down and I just don't know who to babble to about on my ideas for this


End file.
